Thank you for your list, Paul. You made some good calls for songs that deserve to be silenced. As I am also very passionate about music, here is my list of top ten songs that make me want to scream:
10. "Getting Closer" (Paul McCartney & Wings) : I adore Macca, but he was clearly in some drug-induced haze when he came up with this timeless ode to a salamander. Not so ironically, it came out when McCartney spent some time in the slammer for drug possession. With lyrics like, "When will you see me, my salamander? Now don't try to tell me...oh no, don't answer, oh no." Oh no is right.

9. "I've Never Been To Me" (Charlene): Summation- reformed slut/prostitute laments her wild-child past and discovers that "I've been to paradise, but I've never been to me." Don't know if she ever found herself, but she no doubt found the one-hit wonder bin.

8. "Afternoon Delight" (Starland Vocal Band): Great vocal harmony is the only redeeming feature of a song that tries to disguise an afternoon sex romp as some kind of camping sing-a-long. I don't see how the euphemisms for oral sex, "But you've got some bait a-waitin' and I think I might try nibbling a little afternoon delight," would turn anyone on.

7. "Blame it on the Rain" (Milli Vanilli) : any song by these lip sync impressarios would qualify. I don't blame it on the rain...I blame it on the songwriters, the record producer, the label, the radio programmer...anyone who had a hand in putting this piece of crap on the airwaves.

6. "Come on Eileen" (Kevin Rowland & Dexys Midnight Runners) : (ditto Paul's comment above). "Too-rye-ay" those dirty ass overalls as worn in the video and this song.

5. "Sussudio" (Phil Collins) : Apparently, Phil was in the studio writing this song and the word "sussudio" stuck in his head. So he made it the title to a song that su-su-sucks.

4. "Sunglasses at Night" (Corey Hart) : It's hard for me to lambast a fellow Canadian's work, but this song plain sucks no matter what country you're from. Corey ain't no Steven Page, that's for sure.

3. "Convoy" (CW McCall) : "Yee-haw! Power up them CB's boys. This is Pig Pen...you copy, Rubber Duck." Whenever I have a nightmare, this ditty is usually the soundtrack, torturing me even more.

2. "Just a Gigolo" (David Lee Roth) : "I'm just an egotist...I get paid for shitty songs like this.."

And it's a tie for the No. 1 spot! between :
1. "Feelings" (Morris Albert) : "Feelings....woah oh oh feelings....I wish I never met you girl...you'll never come again..." It'd be amazing if she even came once, after hearing this schmaltzy serenade.

1. "(You're) Having My Baby (Paul Anka w/ Odia Coates) : Alas, penned and sang by a fellow Canuck, this song ranks atop the cheesy department. Try looking this gem up on a song download engine (not that you'd want to) and you'll come up empty - it's that bad. If any guy ever sang this to me...I would return the favor with a lovely rendition of ("You're) Having a Vasectomy." Ugh...hate this song.

This topic is the reason I try not to listen to the radio or go to trendy and/or college bars. All places that will beat the hell out of a song. If it was a half way descent song- you now hate it and if the song sucked-it really sucks now because it gets played to death. I want to slit my wrists due to the sounds of the following songs:

"Oh What a Night (December '63)" don't remember who sings it but every college bar on earth has played it to death, and I hate it.

"It's Raining Men" the weather girls. Don't even make me say it...

"I will Survive" Gloria Gaynor. We are in karaoke hell with scorned women on this one.

"The thong song" reminds me of a very, very bad summer in music.

"Macarena" was played non-stop on a cruise I went on in 1996 before it was a hit here. The DJ was close to being thrown overboard.

"I've got friends in low places" Garth Brooks. The last call song in every bar. We all have friends in low places, so shut the fuck up.

Any song by Will Smith.

It is kind of strange to travel to other cities and see how far behind they are musically, by what is being played in the bars. I agree with every song PK listed except for Brown Eyed Girl. Van Morrison is good old drinking Irish music that never gets old.

TOTAL ECLIPSE OF THE HEART (Bonnie Tyler )

It was a legal requirement in 1983 that this song be played at least once every hour. 20 years later and I still hate it.

These two songs from the one hit wonder list are two that I like. The Proclaimers might have only had one "hit", but they have a lot of songs.

#68 on VH1 list of one hit wonders.
Edwyn Collins, A girl like you.

#51 The Proclaimers, I'm gonna be (500 Miles).

Art

As a die-hard OSU fan, I can say - without question - that was the funniest joke I've ever read.

Okay, maybe not THAT funny, but it was still pretty good . . .

I love that Proclaimers song. I was at a bluegrass festival in NJ (yeah, I know, NJ) with the former love unit, and the Navy's bluegrass band played a set. Their encore was the Proclaimers song, and damned if it wasn't just as good sung like that, too. I know, sounds strange, but it was great.

I hate "I Ain't Missing You" by John Waites, I think the Disney version of "Mambo #5" is better than the original, and if I never hear another Journey song again I'll be just fine. How many times does one have to hear, "O, Sherrie, our love/holds on, holds on" before death ensues??

Journey I can handle, especially Anyway You Want It, for which I break out into my Rodney Dangerfield dance from Caddyshack.

Um, Lucy - helllooooo?? "Oh Sherry" was a Steve Perry solo sung, mmm-k? (although almost supernatuarally awful - and one of the worst, cheesiest, overly sincere videos of all time - ya see, Steve doesn't NEED to make a video with costumes and a script and overblown sets - he just needs to let Sherry know that their love holds on, holds on) For really bad Journey I suggest "Wheel in the Sky" or perhaps "Seperate Ways."

I am stunned - STUNNED - that no one has mentioned ABBA. I was a kid when they were hitmakers in the '70s, I was around for the great ironic ABBA revival of 1992 and I am still kicking now when they seem to be making yet ANOTHER comeback, this time sans irony. Look - they sucked then and they suck now.

Others:
Meat Loaf - Paradise By The Dashboard Light. More like Torture By Slow Death. Please - make it stop, make it stop.

Shania Twain - Feel Like A Woman. How could a woman this beautiful make music this hideous?

Anything by any of this new trend of mega-jingoistic country music, a la Toby Keith. Look - I know the pain of 9/11 was the pain of the entire USA and not just New York, but seriously, just STFU (that's Shut The Fuck Up to you and me) about all this puttin' a foot in yo' ass shit and write about a train or your drunk grandma or whatever the fuck it is you guys know best. Leave the international diplomacy to the guys who know it best - our President and his staff - oh wait - shit - oh, just screw it...

The Thong Song by who gives a fuck. Why is this little gay man romping around a beach pretending he likes girls in thongs? He's kidding right? Or he's looking for fashion tips for his next go go boy performance at the Spunk Bar? So confused...

Bad Hair Metal vs Good Hair Metal. Here's how it works: Motley Crue: good. Slaughter: bad. Guns 'n Roses: good. Bullet Boys: bad.

It Wasn't Me by Shaggy. So wait a minute. The guy with the nice alto voice singing the verses ISN'T Shaggy? And instead, Shaggy is the guy who just mumbles, in monotone, over and over again "It wasn't me"? And Shaggy gets the credit for this song? And the Grammy? And the money? I don't know as if I hate this song, I just don't understand that particular business arrangement. Maybe the guy with the nice alto voice should fire his agent. Just a thought.

Oh there's so many others but I have to stop now...

"Mony, Mony" trumps any bad song ever recorded

I like some Journey tunes...."Anyway You Want It" and "Don't Stop Believin'" are two of my faves. Steve Perry is great live in concert (solo or with Journey)...amazing voice.

Don't dis ABBA. ABBA is a good childhood memory for me. My sister and I and a group of gay men went to see Mamma Mia on Broadway last year and it was fabulous.

Hey, I know the music is cheesy but it a good, happy memory of youth. Not chinese water torture like that Proclaimers song which I forgot to mention in an earlier post. Another song which the radio and my sister beat to death was that fucking Whitney Houston song "I will always love you". UGH. Please place the gun in my mouth for me if you plan on playing that...

Another one to put down is Toni Basil's "Mickey." I swear if I hear that song again I will shoot myself in the head. Also, "I Will Always Love You," by either Whitney Houston or Dolly Parton should definitely come with a warning. As for ABBA, their music definitely sucks, but "Dancing Queen" is kinda catchy.

ABBA sucks and there's nothing worse than seeing a guy sing that shit in a bar, when he should be firing bullets at the DJ or whatever dork played it on the jukebox.

My 3 least favorite songs of all time:

1) Summer Girls by LFO - I don't know what their name stands for, and I don't care). I do know that they tried to fit as many product and name mentions in as they could and sat back to see if people noticed. How could they EVER think this was good? NONE OF IT MAKES SENSE! Everytime it came on the radio I felt the need to pull over and straddle a barbed-wire fence to make the pain go away.

2) Who Let the Dogs Out by The Baja Men - Crap begets crap!

3) We Are the World - USA for Africa: God how many fucking times did we have to hear this song? Africa was even begging us to stop it --they said that they'd rather starve then have to listen to this crap.

4) Song Sung Blue by Neil Diamond -- Song, sung sucks and everybody knows it!

My favorite song of all time:

SEX BOMB by Tom Jones. Oh yeah, gets and keeps me in the mood whenever I hear it. Makes a girl wanna fall to her knees.....

My 3 least favorite songs of all time:

1) Summer Girls by LFO - I don't know what their name stands for, and I don't care). I do know that they tried to fit as many product and name mentions in as they could and sat back to see if people noticed. How could they EVER think this was good? NONE OF IT MAKES SENSE! Everytime it came on the radio I felt the need to pull over and straddle a barbed-wire fence to make the pain go away.

2) Who Let the Dogs Out by The Baja Men - Crap begets crap!

3) We Are the World - USA for Africa: God how many fucking times did we have to hear this song? Africa was even begging us to stop it --they said that they'd rather starve then have to listen to this crap.

4) Song Sung Blue by Neil Diamond -- Song, sung sucks and everybody knows it!

My favorite song of all time:

SEX BOMB by Tom Jones. Oh yeah, gets and keeps me in the mood whenever I hear it. Makes a girl wanna fall to her knees.....

ABBA is a girl thing and/or a gay guy thing. I don't expect guys--excuse me, I meant straight guys-- to like it or understand. ABBA is like the "chick flick" of 70's/early 80's music. The sole target audience is females and gay men.

Steve Perry, solo, or Journey- either way, "O, Sherry" sucks.

Let's establish 2 things: I hate ABBA, and I am a straight male. I mean that "Dancing Queen" is catchy in the "Oh My God, that song is stuck in my head, and please, for the love of God, let it stop." Another song to add on to that list of songs to hate: "You Light Up My Life" by Debbie Boone.

You all have nailed every shitty tune I can think of except for one..the ever popular "Wind Beneath my Wings". And, living in the south, I must add "Free Bird" to my list.

"Wind beneath my wings" reminds of another song that got played to death "I believe I can fly" by that pedophile R. Kelly. Everyone hates that song, but I am sure we know all of the words to it since it is literally the only song that was played on the radio for 5 months straight.

Yes, Free Bird the song does indeed suck. However, it does have the second most kick-ass rock solo ever, so I give it a free pass.

Every marathon runner in the world knows you don't want to get 'My Sharona' by the Knack stuck in your head for 26.2 miles.
There was even an article about it in Runner's World a few years back.
Can't believe nobody even mentioned a Christmas song. I refuse to shop in any store that plays Christmas music or Country music.
And if 'Grandma Got Run Over by a Reindeer' plays one more time, I am gonna slit my wrists.

Yes, Pee Wee, I agree with the dreaded Christmas music. Philadelphia has a radio station (104.5) that as of Thanksgiving day, they play Chrismas music 24 hours a day until Christmas. This seems to be the station of choice amongst my co-workers so I have been listening to Christmas music 5 days a week for 10-13 hours a day. I can't wait for Christmas to be over so the music can fucking stop!

The Divinyls "I touch myself"... you go right ahead honey, after hearing this song for the ten-thousandth time I'd rather masterbate with a cheese grater.

Paul McCartney and Michael Jackson... "Say say say"... stop please God

Paul McCartney and Stevie Wonder "Ebony and Ivory" racial equality I got it.

My Friend Kari says Safety Dance, but I have to disagree with her. However I will say that I pretty much agree with all the other selections...including anything that has ever been sung by Bernadette Peters.

Ok, Here's my list (Off The Top Of My Head)

1) Anything by Jennifer Lopez ... she's just a deluded drama Queen ...

2) The Grease Medely ... you can't go to a Karaoke Bar anywhere in the world without a group of girls getting up and singing it ... badly!

3) Say My Name (Destiny's Child) - Just can't stand that one.

4) Stand (Jewel). I usually like Jewel, but this song is just plane annoying!

5) Anything by Justin Timberlake ... He's just a Michael Jackon wannabe in my eyes. Perhaps he'll move into Jacko's freak ranch if he goes to jail!

Cheers,
D

What!? No one has mentioned that wet toilet seat 'MacArthur Park?' Let's all gag together: "MacArthur Park is melting in the dark/All the sweet, green icing flowing down/Someone left the cake out in the rain/I don't think that I can take it/'Cause it took so long to bake it/And I'll never have that recipe again/Oh, no!" No shit..OH NOOOOOOO!!! It's been at least 35 years, and not one day of hard prison time has been served by anyone for foisting this piece of garbage on the public. Charles Manson wasn't this cruel.

Another one that kills me: "Imagine," Lennon's drug driven adulation of cold, sterile communism wrapped in the sort of melody that makes you want to fling yourself in front of a state-owned train. Except that state-owned trains tend to be late (or non-running altogether) which could you leave you standing there on the tracks looking silly. But not as silly looking as "Imagine" leaves Lennon.

I was never a fan of Mambo #5, but when a girl I know bought a "party remix" album of Mambo #5 I nearly shot her. FOURTEEN remixes of that song. FOURTEEN! One remix is bad enough, but fourteen? That's Hell on earth.

Whitney Houston's version of I WILL ALWAYS LOVE YOU. It's torture. God, just thinking of it now makes my ears hurt. Dolly's original is good though. At least she can sing.