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Tuesday, November 4, 2003

The Worst Dive of All Time
For my money, Thornton Melon's Triple Lindy in Back to School was pure magic. From the pre-dive arm farts, to the 1940s swimsuit to the three board springs that were equal parts athletic achievement and crude editing. Today, I give you something a little less technically sound, but equally entertaining: a video of the worst dive ever (2.6 MB mpeg).

To the right is a screen shot of the dive's climax, perhaps the only moment in human history where someone experienced the double humiliation of hitting his head on a diving board and having his ass crack exposed. But wait ... there's more! Less than a second later, the guy gets tossed halfway across the pool — sideways!

The New York Times calls it "riveting ... the best fat-guy performance since Matthew Perry circa 2000." Newsweek implores, "Call the coworkers over before you hit PLAY." And Ebert & Hussein give it two thumbs up.

(Can I also use this space to interject one more thing about P. Diddy's marathon run? After scoring with J. Lo and serving up sloppy seconds to Ben Affleck, does one really need to run 26.2 miles to prove he can accomplish anything? I mean, 35,000 people ran that damn race. How many people have had sex with J. Lo? A thousand? Maybe two thousand? I'd say that's more of an accomplishment.)

Other Web Finds:

Turd Words — Definitions of such uncouth terms as Dirty Sanchez and Bucking Bronco. You've got balls if you try the No. 1 user-rated term, the Angry Pirate. Make sure your boss isn't reading these over your shoulder. (Thanks, Art)

Bush in 30 Seconds — Michael Moore and other celebrities will judge this contest of video clips that "tells the truth about George W. Bush." Since Al Gore invented the Internet, this would be perfect for him.

Three Minutes With RIAA Chief Cary Sherman — PCWorld chats with the man whose No. 1 concern is halting music piracy. And it looks like those publicity-generating lawsuits against individuals have had the desired effect.

'80 Lyrics Quiz — A fill-in-the-blanks quiz where you try to complete '80s song lyrics. And if you think I'm gonna do this for 103 songs, you're crazy.

10 Things Your Dry Cleaner Won't Tell YouSmart Money tells you why you're getting hosed. And, oh no!, they used the "taken to the cleaners" line.

Category: Web Finds | Permalink | Post a Comment (5)

Comments: The Worst Dive of All Time

Can Michael Moore really be trusted to judge videos about telling the truth?

I tried the 80's video quiz, and didn't do so well. It's really hard, and it took way too much time to be worth it.

Posted by CJ at November 4, 2003 1:18 PM

I have to give a lot of credit anywhere there is a reference to Thornton Mellon. Awesome Paul, awesome. One of my top movies. "No one can do the triple Lindy...it's impossible!" (sorry if I butchered that quote).

Posted by Cory at November 4, 2003 1:50 PM

The quote goes like this...

Announcer: What dive is he doing?
Coach: The Triple Lindy
Announcer: There will be an additional springboard installed for Melon's dive — the Triple Lindy!
Diane: Is that hard?
Spectator: That's impossible!

Impossible, my ass. The only thing that was impossible in that movie was watching Jason Melon romancing Valerie Desmond without puking.

Posted by Paul Katcher at November 4, 2003 2:00 PM

Paul did you know that quote by heart? We need to get you to the movies a little more often.

Posted by Livia at November 4, 2003 2:22 PM

I just took the 80's music quiz and got an 87. I cannnot remember where I left my key, if I fed the dog, etc., but I can remember the lyrics to songs from my childhood. How fucked up...

Posted by Cass at November 4, 2003 6:47 PM
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