Everyone is going gag-ga over VH1's retro pop-culture special I Love the '80s Strikes Back, a look back at a what-the-fuck-were-we-thinking decade if ever there was one. And I was more than happy to play my part. Dude, I had the Van Halen 1984 "jersey" t-shirt. And that's the coolest thing I did from 1980-89.
Almost as good as the series itself is VH1's I Love the '80s Strikes Back website. Among the comprehensive photo galleries are biggest '80s nerds (my official ranking: 1. Long Duk Dong; 2. Booger; 3. Danny Tanner; 4. Paul Pfeiffer) and album covers (what, no Stryper?). A glaring omission from the galleries, bordering on criminal: sex symbols.
There's a host of audio clips of break-up songs from such music legends as Mister Mister, Lisa Lisa and Steve Perry Steve Perry. (Ha, tricked you on the last one.) You can also download '80s ringtones for your mobile phone, and if you're lucky enough to have Culture Club go off next to me on a bus, I might shove the phone up your ass.
And finally, you can review all years in the series and decide for yourself which was the greatest embarrassment to mankind. (I nearly pissed in my pants when I watched the panel reflect on 1984's "very special episodes" in which Alex from Family Ties got hooked on speed and Monroe from Too Close for Comfort got sexually assaulted by two women in a van.)
Yeah, the '80s were a mess. Leg warmers, KISS without makeup and, worse, the '86 Mets. Then again, it did bring us Tecmo Bowl and Don Mattingly, so it wasn't all bad.
Other Web Finds:
• Top 1980s Films, as Rated by IMDB.com Users — With hundreds of thousands, and possibly millions, of votes counted, The Empire Strikes Back ties Raiders of the Lost Ark (never saw it) for the top spot. The absence of Hamburger: The Motion Picture is an indictment on the entire list's credibility, however.
• Shoot-it.org — Upload any picture from your computer, then shoot the hell out of it. Here are some Manny Ramirez pictures to practice with. Some may even feature him jogging to first base on a grounder.
• The Drink-o-Meter — A tool that tallies up the number of drinks and how much money you've wasted spent wisely getting liquored up.
• I Did it for Science: The Threesome — Another field experiment by Nerve.com's Grant Stoddard. A great read, as was his study with the Casual Encounters of Craig's List, which, as one can expect, is a carnival of horny guys, phony "girls" and no action.
• Atlantic Shores Resort Webcam — This is supposed to be a cam around the pool area of a clothing-optional pool in Key West, but every time I remember to check it, then sun's already down. Someone please file a daytime report. If you lose your job, I'll send you a PK.com t-shirt.
• When Aaron Boone's Wife Has Been Naked — As most people know by now, Aaron Boone's wife, Laura Cover, was Playboy's Playmate of the Month for November 1998. Don't think for a second that Don Zimmer hasn't been trying to swing one of those wife-swaps, like Yankees teammates Fritz Peterson and Mike Kekich did in 1973. Anyway, check out this scarily detailed page of Laura Cover's uncovered magazine appearances, including a Yes/No in three columns: Breasts, Buns and, everyone's favorite, Full Frontal!
A friend of mine was talking about growing up once, and I didn't get a cultural reference she made, so I made some comment about growing up in the 80's which caused her to literally shut her jaw with an audible crack. She was appalled- and dismissed any further commentary of mine as coming from a person who had nothing of depth or value to contribute to any conversation about growing up with a pop culture. ("The eighties!? Nobody did anything in the eighties!)
Now I can refer her to Vh-1....see, we had culture! We had group psychosis, too, just like all the free love and pot smokers of the seventies and sixties! Just very, um, tasteless culture.
Of course, I was just miffed that she thought I was older than I really was....
Posted by lucy at October 27, 2003 7:54 AM