No, he's not retarded, but the man who dressed in a red argyle sweater, tan
trousers and red shoes is returning to the silver screen. That's right, the upcoming film 32 Candles will update the lives
of Long Duk Dong, Samantha Baker, Farmer Ted and the rest of the social
misfits from the 1984 cult classic Sixteen Candles.
Sixteen Candles, you may recall, is best known as being one of a
million '80s films in which the biggest dweeb in school manages to snag the
coolest, previously unapproachable love interest: Does Karate Kid,
Revenge of the
Nerds, Back to School or Can't Buy Me Love Come to mind?
Hollywood has long regarded Gedde Watanabe, who played the Donger,
as the greatest nerd actor in movie history. (See interview in Asian Week magazine.) He had his
sexy, American girlfriend, all right, but Long Duk Dong made Eugene from
Grease look like the Fonz.
I can't wait to see what the Donger is up to these days. I hope he's getting
the food he needs and that his wanky is not over-yankied. (Speaking of
Yankees, did you see that series against the Red Sox? I'll have to write
about that some day.)
What do you think happened to the cast of Sixteen Candles?
• Memorable Quotes From Sixteen Candles
Other News Links:
• French Judge Investigated for Masturbating
During Lawyer's Argument — This one is great. A judge whacked off
for several minutes while listening to a female lawyer addressing the court.
I used to wonder why Judge Wapner always looked so happy.
• Unexpectant Mom Shocked by Birth
— She carried around a baby boy for nine months and had no idea. No
report on how fat this lady is, but I'm guessing at least three
bills.
• Wisconsin Man Sinks
Hole-in-One, Bowls 300 in 24 Hours — This 74-year-old guy must be
the second coming of Curt "Mr. Perfect." Henning.
Sixteen Candles is one of those movies, like Fast Times at Ridgemont High and Say Anything, that my friends and I can watch and laugh at and be instantly transported to high school all over again. I mean, they're like, classics.
I think updating the movie is a horrible idea. Isn't the whole idea of that happily ever after what it's all about? I prefer my disbelief suspended, thank you very much....
Posted by lucy at October 21, 2003 2:12 AM