I love Muppets. I love Manhattan. Put 'em together, you get one so-so movie.
Oh, I dug the corny jokes. I was wowed by cameo appearances from such 1984 A-listers as Dabney Coleman, Linda Lavin and James Coco. But in the end, this was just a love story about a pig and a frog. Yuck.
It was bad enough to hear Miss Piggy mention marriage to Kermit — a playa if there ever was one — but when she talked about having children, I almost Rowlfed. The image in my head of skinny-assed Kermit mounting that fat slut is going to stick with me for awhile.
Elsewhere in the movie, Fozzie was getting spooned by a BBB (big, beautiful bear), Gonzo was lusting after chickens, and Rowlf was making nice with some bitch who got dropped off in the dog kennel. It was an animal love-fest.
If you could get past all this Discovery Channel footage, the plot wasn't half bad. The Muppets graduate from college and, in an effort to stay together, Kermit suggests they shove off to the Big Apple find a producer to put their musical, Manhattan Melodies, on Broadway. (Apparently there weren't enough gay men in their college town to support the show there.)
Things don't go as smoothly as planned. Kermit has a hard time selling the script and the sap-a-thon begins. Kermit thinks he's failing his Muppet friends, the rest of the gang thinks they're a burden on Kermit, and everyone leaves town, except Piggy, who gets robbed in Central Park by a white purse-snatcher wearing khakis and a polo, and Kermit, who gets run over by a white cab driver.
The blow causes Kermit to suffer from amnesia and forget his identity and friends. Nurse Lavin explains that since he was wearing no clothes at the time of the accident, she checked all the nudist colonies in the area, and he's some Italian dude from Passaic, N.J. Meanwhile, the script is picked up by a young producer, and the Muppets are summoned back to New York for the premiere. But no one can find the star! Just before the curtain goes up, the Muppets find Kemit in his new role as an advertising exec who made a mint for Ocean Breeze soap, and his memory is restored after Miss Piggy wallops him for making pig jokes.
In the musical, Kermit and Piggy tie the knot. I got dry heaves from it.
Grade: B-
In Five Words or Less: Like Bestiality? You'll Love This
The Muppets Take Manhattan Links:
• IMDB: The Muppets Take Manhattan
• The Muppets Take Manhattan Items on eBay
• Lyrics to Songs in The Muppets Take Manhattan
• Listen Now: Muppet Central Radio
I loved the Muppets when I was a kid! I still remember when they had that show every week, and it was the best the time Elton John was a guest. He was all dressed up (almost like a Muppet) and probably high as a kite.
I remember seeing the Muppets take Manhattan, and that was my first glimpse at NYC. As a kid, I thought NY had to be the most exciting place in the world...and I was right.
I recently bought the Muppets take Manhattan drinking glasses at an antique store in Philadelphia. They were issued by Burger King or McDonalds (not sure). I would never drink out of them now because they probably used lead based paint back then, so I will just keep them for the memories. I HAD to have those glasses and I remember begging my parents for them, when they first came out. My favorite one has Miss Piggy riding a motorcycle on it. Miss Piggy rocked.
Ahhh...the good old days.
Posted by Cass at August 31, 2003 2:33 PM