It seems everyone is excited about the Hulk movie opening in London July 18, and apparently no one more so than the Hulk himself. It was revealed in the Sun this week that 12-inch tall dolls of the green giant have been equipped with a two-inch penis (or roughly the same proportion as a six-foot tall man sporting a 12-inch, one-eyed purple-headed custard chucker).
The six-year-old pictured to the right is Leah Lowland, who discovered the appendage when she noticed a lump in the Hulk's shorts and tore them off. This begs two questions. Who lets their kids pose for pictures with a green schlong in her face? And where can I find an adult, American version of Leah Lowland?
Frankly, I don't why Leah's parents are so shocked. Didn't they get a look at those feet?
In Other News:
Ferris Bueller’s Principal Pleads No Contest to Porn Charge — Actor Jeffrey Jones was and ordered to register as a sex offender and undergo counseling after employing a 14-year-old boy to pose for sexually explicit photos. Sad news for everyone involved. No one comes out ahead here.
Hillary Clinton Delivers Shoe Cake to Tucker Carlson — The bow-tie-wearing dweeb and co-host of CNN's Crossfire vowed multiple times to "eat his shoes" if Clinton's book sold one million copies. After Simon & Schuster announced that sales had reached seven figures, the senator made a surprise appearance on the show.
Researchers: Stonehenge Represents Female Genitalia — The researchers will later deliver their findings on the effect of crack on the human brain.
Horse Called Big Tits Could Run in UK — The race call would be so funny, the OTB guys would piss in their pants. But I guess they already do that.
Man I was ripped off as a kid, Ken always had underwear on! Damn Matel
Posted by Livia at July 10, 2003 10:09 AM