The other night I caught a TV airing of the unintentional comedy that ranks
No. 13 among my favorite movies ever, The Karate Kid, starring
Ralph Macchio and the cook from Happy Days. How good was this film?
It contained two of the absolute worst lines in cinematic history, and it
still rates as entirely watchable.
Let's recap some of the film's funniest moments:
Mr. Miyagi asks Daniel-san to show him how he sands floors and whacks off
Cobra Kai sensei John Kreese warns Daniel that if he doesn't show at
the All-Valley karate tournament that "it will be open season" on his ass.
Then he looks at Miyagi and delivers the same threat (see picture; try not to laugh)
When Daniel asks Ali if she knows about the upcoming karate
tournament and she answers, "doesn't everybody?" I have an easier time
believing that an old super could afford a fleet of classic cars than I do
believing an 18-and-under karate championship is the toast of the So-Cal
social calendar
When the tournament announcer yells, "Daniel LaRusso is gonna fight!"
and the crowd explodes with jubilation as if he just informed them that stacks of porn DVDs would be handed out at the exit
Second-Worst Line in Movie History
"It must be Take a Worm for a Walk Week."
Absolutely horrendous. So bad that a band named Uprising recorded a song with that very title.
Worst Line in Movie History
"Get him a body bag! Yeah!!!"
Seriously, name me one movie quote that's even more unintentionally
hilarious.
All this silliness aside, The Karate Kid teaches us
life's simple yet valuable lessons through household chores and miniature
golf. What have we learned? That girls with the big cans are always the most popular chicks in high school. That chopsticks beat flyswatters if you have beginner's luck. And to have complete trust in allowing your awkward teenage boy to hang out with an unknown superintendent for entire days.
Grade: B+
In Five Words or Less: Legend Ralph Macchio's Greatest Performace
Links:
Miyagi's Guide to Sex He promise teach sex to you, you promise learn. He say, you do, no questions.
Karate Kid
Quotes You won't believe someone got paid to write this stuff.
The Karate Kid Website The most comprehensive related site includes trivia, pictures and locations of buildings that appeared in the movie.
You are forgetting two of the best parts of that movie.
Fisrt, one of the other memorable lines from that movie: "Sweep the leg, Johnny!" uttered in the same scene as the body bag line.
Second, and more importantly, is the fact that that line is uttered to none other than William Zabka--the quintissential 80's movie antagonist. He appeared in such 80's classics as "Just One of the Guys" and a favorite of yours, "Back to School", not to mention the second and thrid installments of the Karate Kid saga.
According to the IMDB, he's still working hard, but I haven't gotten around to seeing such cinematic gems as Ablaze (2001) and Hyper Sonic (2002)
Posted by Marty at June 19, 2003 12:02 PM