Unlike most subjects I broach on this site, streaking is a topic I know
something about. The definition of streaking was, is and always shall be to
run naked. Naked as the day you were born. Naked as George Michael at a rest
stop. Naked as Osama with his herd of goats.
Like George Costanza, who didn't have the nads to run across
Yankee Stadium without wearing a nude-colored bodysuit, the GoldenPalace.com
girl with the big yams who interrupted Sunday's U.S. open final round on the
11th hole is not a streaker.
The reason: pasties. Sorry, that's not streaking. That's trespassing.
Was I wearing pasties when I blew a whistle to get everyone's attention on
my first day of spring break at South Padre Island in 1993, just before
running naked through the hotel's pool area? No. Was I wearing anything
other than sneakers when I ran in front of the same hippie,
acid-blues band on Fourth of July three years in a row? No. (On year three, I
needed the sneakers to outrun a pack of fat security men and my
video-taping friend at 3 a.m. To be fair, they were playing I Party Naked.)
Was Larry Dallas wearing anything but a bear-skin rug on his chest when he ran through a Three's Company party to bust up Terry's chances of moving in with Jack and Janet? No. (Honk three times if you like
what you see!)
I'm willing to give this chick another shot. God knows I wouldn't mind
losing a couple of balls in her rough. But let's get one thing perfectly clear: she
is not a streaker. Stacked, yes. For sale, yes. Patriotic, yes. Streaker,
no.
(Also note: Our friend and sassy porn blogger The Reverse Cowgirl is on the hunt for more photos and video of the U.S. Open trespasser.)
Other T&A Artistic Beauty Links:
Club Rubber Party Photos I will also have a soft
spot in my heart and a hard spot in my pants for the SoCal
party photo collections that was the backbone of my T&A finds in the first
couple of years of PK.com. (Speaking of pasties...)
Barely Brooke E!'s online gallery of the woman who
headed my
list of favorite MILFs, Brooke Burke. Oh, mommie dearest!
The Mammoth Book of Illustrated Erotica Our weekly pick of a sex-related product on Amazon.com. This one is 512 pages of tits and ass. The funny part is that the long-winded and artsy-sounding book description mentions nothing about masturbation.
Win Tickets to Hef's Midsummer Night's Dream Party Same rules as always. You win, you take me. (By the way, is anyone else suspicious that Hugh Hefner might not be alive, but rather exists only as a cardboard cutout that gets passed around the mansion for photo-ops?)
The funny part is that I have been checking pk.com on a regular basis since the end of the Open because I knew if I could find a pic of her, it would be here. For a while I thought you were letting us down, but you came through as usual.
Posted by CEB at June 17, 2003 8:00 AM