It's difficult to pinpoint the exact moment when Wednesday night's NYCBP.com booze cruise elevated from a fun party to a raging success, but I think it was about the time the bartenders started ripping shirts off. Sometimes it was a guy's shirt. Sometimes it was a girl's shirt. Sometimes it was their own shirts.
This was not a good time to be a shirt. For all others involved, it was a blast aboard the S.S. Floating Lawsuit. And I have 32 pictures to prove it.
I am happy to report that the winner of the PK.com ticket giveaway is alive today, albeit barely, and she files this report from her post in Connecticut: "I don't remember anything after [friend] got off the bar ... How I got from the boat to the cab or getting into [new friend's] apartment."
Surely she didn't forget everything. Who could forget seeing NYCBP.com emperor Kevin Fitzpatrick decked out in a full sailor's suit? I didn't know whether to give him my ticket or a can of spinach.
Who could forget Clay, the Joe DiMaggio of photographers, setting a record that may never be broken, by snapping 700 digital pictures in three hours? (Do the math, people. That's one nearly every 15 seconds. For three hours!) And not one from further away than 8 inches from the subject's face. Or tits. Or ass.
Who could forget her own friend doing shots with only her bra on top? Or the guy who drank an entire beer off a bartender's stomach ... after she poured it down her cleavage? Or the guy who reportedly smelled like chicken soup? Or the DJ whose expression after being given Johnny Cash and Willie Nelson CDs resembled someone having been handed a 1,200-page manual on how to build a car engine? What the hell am I supposed to do with these?
The stars of the show were unquestionably the bartenders Kevin recruited from some of New York's esteemed watering holes: Maria and Char from Coyote Ugly, who I swear could sell snow to the eskimos, crack to the Pope and a box of Snackwell's to that guy who won American Idol. Tracy and Jessica from Red Rock West, who probably have more stalkers than there are roaches in a Chinese take-out joint. Jo and Li from Doc Holliday's, who I think may have had more fun than anyone else on the boat.
Seeing the trio of tandems, business competitors on land, working together at sea, brought tears to Kevin's eyes. And erections for half the crowd. It was like the great Begin-Sadat peace meeting in 1977, perhaps even a bit reflective of the famous speech made by Mr. Rocky Balboa in Rocky IV: "I guess what I'm trying to say is, if I can change, and you can change, everybody can change!"
Thanks to them for helping us kill brain cells. Thanks to Marco of MPcruises.com, a great guy whose boat (real name: Half Moon) I've now had the pleasure of getting insanely wasted on three times. And thanks to Kevin of NYCBP.com for organizing a really fun night.
Tomorrow, we'll have a full 12-question interview with one of the booze cruise bartenders, Tracy from Red Rock. Stay tuned.
So did any get the privilage of belting the crap out of that idiot Prisoner?
Posted by D at May 23, 2003 1:07 AM