A few weeks ago, a bartender and I were chatting about the levels upon levels upon levels of wealth in New York — from the shoebox-sized studios to the $30 million apartments right down the street. One of the great things about this city is that no one is bigger than the whole. We walk the same streets and get stuck in the same traffic. And no matter how much stroke you got, the next guy to walk in the room, whether anyone recognizes him or not, can serve you up a piece of humble pie in a snap.
I know for a fact that on any given night at Yogi's, one of Manhattan's dirtiest dive bars — we're talking flies all over the bathrooms — you might find a guy drinking PBR who paid $300,000 in cash for his apartment. Another regular in the place is worth $4 million. And those are only the ones I know. No one really gives a shit. I think that is one of the great charms of New York.
Anyway, we got to thinking about the richest people of all time. According to American Heritage magazine, the list of 40 richest Americans of all time (compiled in 1998 and adjusted for inflation) is headed by John D. Rockefeller (oil), who would have been worth roughly $189.6 billion — or approximately three times Bill Gates' wealth — five years ago. He is followed by Andrew Carnegie (steel), Cornelius Vanderbilt (shipping) and John Jacob Astor (real estate).
Forget "fuck you money," these guys had "lick the backside of my balls money" — and were lucky that 401(k) had yet to be offered.
Other Web Finds:
12 Steps in Overcoming Masturbation — Because god forbid you make yourself feel good. No, really, god forbids it. (Thanks, Marc)
The Flash Mind Reader — Choose any two-digit number, do some computations, and this thing correctly guesses your selection.
Comedy Central's Online Games — Play The Man Show's Juggy's Wild Poker and the Insomniac Bar Hopper game.
Cataclysmic World Floods Expected — A crackpot claims to scientific evidence of a conspiracy to cover up cataclysmic global flooding. You have been warned.
Vinnie's Tampon Case — Apparently, crushed tampons are a problem. I really don't want to delve any deeper into this.
There's a pile of wackjobs in that list, but for unique cheap-ass looniness you gotta love Hetty Green, the Witch of Wall Street and a Hoboken resident. She let her son lose a leg rather than pay for a doctor, had the cleaners wash only the bottom of her skirts to avoid paying full price, and died of a stroke caused by a heated argument with her maid over the price of milk.
Posted by Ken Goldstein at March 13, 2003 1:40 AM