Anyway, we got to comparing stories about voyeurism — she's a big fan — and about how disappointing results have been in the year and a half since I moved into an apartment that overlooked at least 200 others. Two measly sex sessions (one Asian couple, one Indian couple), an unacceptable bedtime wardrobe (granny underwear and pajama bottoms) worn by the best-looking gal within viewing and too many women who had no one around to entertain them besides cats. And now, the residents of the somewhat bankable apartments have moved out. Boring.

But this chick has more stories than Ron Jeremy, so I asked if she would share some for the class. Here ya' go...

Rumor has it — and this is because you told me — that you enjoy peering into apartments to watch people having sex. Is this a real hobby or do you just take a quick peek occasionally?
I wouldn't label it as a hobby, but then I would never turn away a chance at a peek. Though it seems like people are constantly hooking up everywhere. I swear that the people having sex want to be watched as much as we want to watch them. I have spotted people, not only in apartments, but in high rise business buildings during the business day going at it. I cannot think of one person who would actually look away and ignore the activities of others participating in sexual activities. Why would you? You can always learn a new trick, so to speak, by watching others. The first time I ever had sex was outside of a dorm of a NJ college, and I was unaware that we had a captive audience. The applause at the end gave it away. I was mortified at first — this was my first time — but I was turned on just as much.

Ever contemplate why voyeurism excites you?
Absolutely. I think when you are raised very strict Irish Catholic, like I was, you are always "protected" by your parents from anything "sinful." Being raised in such a sheltered environment always made me curious to what my parents were trying to shield me from and what was so sinful. So I had to sneak around and snoop which in itself is an act of voyeurism. I always wanted to know what was going on behind closed doors, but don't dare get caught. Catching people or watching people have sex can be a violation of their privacy, but then again they shouldn't leave their blinds/curtains open or fuck in public places. As a kid, we had to "peek" on others because we weren't supposed to know what was going on. Like Dads always hiding their Playboys under the mattress or in a closet-we knew there was something hidden that we shouldn't know about and we wanted to know what it was. This strict upbringing, I believe, is the root of a lot of my sexual wants and needs, and I don't recommend that people shelter their children. Like spanking — my parents didn't believe in hitting us even when we were bad. So when I am being "bad" I liked to be spanked, but that is a whole other interview.

What's your voyeur routine like? From where do you like to watch? Use any equipment?
Usually, the voyeurism is not totally premeditated. I have binoculars in my car which are pertinent to my job, though they can be a tool for voyeurism. When I visit my friends in Manhattan or Philadelphia, where everything is a high rise, then it only seems natural to bring them out. I used to work in Center City Philadelphia and we used to watch a couple fucking every day at lunch time in an office building across from ours. I don't think they even realized they had a captive audience. During the blizzard of 1996, myself and my coworkers got snowed in at a hotel near our office. We ended up in the bar all night drinking with the man who has these lunchtime fucks, we recognized him immediately, though we had never formally met him prior to this. Since I had already put away too many martinis, I told him that we have all seen him naked already and informed him of our lunch time ritual that coincided with his. After that he went to GREAT lengths to put on an extra special show for us at lunch. He got off on it as much as we did. The one that I have to describe as the worst, but the best was in NYC. My best friend lived in Murray Hill with a great view of many other apartment buildings. I bought her a telescope for Christmas just so we could watch people. So we cracked open the wine and started to look into other people's windows and their lives. We caught an older Jewish couple at the age of 60 or 70 having sex in their living room. There was lots of wrinkling, sagging white pasty skin and we were near disgust, yet couldn't stop watching. The best part of that story is that we knew they were Jewish because the man was wearing only his black old man socks and his yarmulke!

What kind of action have you seen? What's turned you on the most? What would you most like to see?
I have seen all kinds of interesting positions, and toys come into play. What is the best is when the people are attractive, and they look fabulous fucking. I also enjoy it when you see someone you know, friend or co worker, in the act. You always feel like you have a little something on them, and sometimes it makes you like them more. I have found from experience from having summer shore homes with girls, that the "sweet and innocent" girls are the nastiest in bed. They do things that they would just die if anyone found out about, and you got to witness it first hand. Catching a threesome is like winning the Stanley Cup in voyeurism. You can't believe your witnessing it, and your chances of getting there again may never happen. Though I have caught 3 threesomes in my time. What I would like most to see most is Paul Katcher vacuuming his apartment naked. There is something about a naked man being domestic that turns me on.

Do you share the wealth and keep your blinds open?
I used to keep my bedroom blinds open because I thought that people on the outside couldn't' see in. I recently found out that the mailman told a male neighbor that I walk around naked all of the time in my home and he has seen me because the blinds are open. I am not putting myself out there for everyone to look into my windows to see, but if they see anything then I hope that they enjoy it. I do have lesbian stripper neighbors that don't even have window treatments, and they open the windows when they have sex. So you can see everything and hear everything. That does attract some interesting men outside of my building at times. The one lesbian hits on me all of the time, but I do not have any plans to become part of that Pussy Posse.

Do you seek out voyeuristic or amateur/homemade erotic material online?
No, only because it seems like only hairy men and fat women want to make homemade porn. They also seem to think that people want to see them naked.

Any tips on how best to catch people in the act?
On Thursday and Friday nights people are usually coming home from happy hour looking to get laid. You can catch a lot of "one nighters'" on those nights. Saturday, as well all know, is date night so you see good old fashioned fucking on Saturdays. People are always amorous around the holidays, too. Just think of your own sexual pattern, and apply the mentality to others. I saw the best sex in Manhattan, overall. I think NYC has a lot of sexual energy, and everyone gets caught up in it and falls prey to it. Just remember, if you don't want to be watched then turn off the lights and shut the blinds!