Yep, next Tuesday is the premier of Comedy Central's Crank Yankers 2!

Knowing that I fit perfectly into the show's targeted demographic — 18-to-34-year-old male going on 12 — my high school buddy mocked me via IM by asking, "How can you even stand the wait?" Fact is, I can't.

He tried to steer me away from such childish programming by writing, "The only thing I saw in a commercial was a puppet asking a guy at a bowling alley if he had eight-pound balls." Jeez, I thought, this really is gonna be better than the first season.

The genius behind Crank Yankers is that the comedy is not limited to just testicles. The writing is diverse enough to include vomiting, burping and, as you can hear on this .mp3 preview of Niles Standish's call to a hardware store, plenty of phallic innuendo:

How big is this caulk? Does the caulk smell? Is it dangerous if it gets into my face or my eye? Does the caulk harden? The black caulk, is that bigger?

Man, if that's not better than 60 Minutes, I don't know what is.

My Favorite Crank Yankers:

Elmer Higgins — The fast-food joint did not respect its elders when it gave Elmer a bucket full of fried chicken beaks. They offered a replacement, but Elmer said he didn't want it "if it's gonna be all beaky." He also called the cable company to file this complaint: "I just saw something that made me wanna crap!"

Bobby Fletcher — Tells employers he's got a lot to offer, then offers them a lot of gas.

Confucius — Quick-hitting words of wisdom, such as "Wife who put husband in doghouse soon find him in cathouse ... with whores," "Crowded elevator smell different to midget," and "Man who fart in church sit in own pew."

Crank Yankers Links:

Various Downloads — Buddy icons, sound bites and phone messages that you can record on your own phone.

Crank Yankers Episode Guide — Pretty good recaps from an unofficial site.

TV Tome: Crank Yankers — General cast/episode/goofs guide.