Under the guise of a fashion issue produced by a sports magazine, AOL Time Warner unveiled Tuesday the latest edition of its long-running male masturbation facilitator, the Sports Illustrated swimsuit issue. From 8-8:30 p.m. ET, SI.com will air a launch party webcast, which will be the one-millionth most erotic thing on the web during that time period.

I'm all for selling to the public what it wants, and you can't spell PaulKatcher.com without T&A, but I don't like to be patronized. So when I see AOL-TW execs in their Armani suits, I see people whose salaries are paid, at least in part, by swimsuit issue whack-off videos and gay porn chat rooms. The company is struggling with convergence all right. Converging customers' hands with their privates.

I would have loved it if Michael Eisner was standing next to me at an Upper East Side bar when I saw a "Strippers Gone Crazy" video commercial aired during Disney-owned ESPN's SportsCenter. I would have asked him why, when sports gambling is illegal in 49 states, ESPN airs Hank Goldberg's NFL picks against the spread. Would he be honest and tell me that, yes, it does encourage illegal activity, but we turn a blind eye because it makes us money? (And maintains interest in the NFL, therefore making the league money.)

And I've already posted a link to the story exposing how corporate America is cashing in on porn. I mean, does anyone else laugh at the dichotomy of a a luxurious Marriott hotel room offering pay-per-view videos of Forrest Hump and Teenage Mutant Ninja Dildos?

I wonder how much of AT&T and MCI Worldcom's annual reports are dedicated to its profiting in the 1-900 market, which is dominated by phone-sex services and psychics.

I once had a meeting with representatives from Keen.com about getting well-known magazine columnists to participate in their fee-based conference calls. I asked them straight up what percentage of their income was derived from sex- and psychic-related content. (No shock that they never mentioned either category.) Their answer was far lower than what was reported in a major newspaper report shortly thereafter. Surprise, surprise. (In August 2000, Salon.com profiled Keen.com and said that "Keen.com wants to be the 'eBay of advice,' but looks more like the Web's 1-900 directory.")

Viva la capitalism. And profiting off sex, gambling and phony psychics while not really admitting it.

See last year's PK.com update for my reviews of SI swimsuit issues past, including images of my favorite covers.