Students, please be seated for Anatomy 101: The Female Body.

I was watching football with J-No from H-Town at PK.com world headquarters Sunday night when a buddy of mine called from Red Rock West and said, "Get down here. It's Slut City." Now, I jam to Detroit Rock City and Paradise City. I loathe both Vatican City and Jersey City. But nothing gets me in a checkered cab quicker than a report from Slut City. Within 10 minutes we were sandwiched among a packed patronage to see 11 girls get judged on their bar dancing, bartending and cleavage skills for three open shifts at the biker bar/bachelorette party spot. (How that combo ever came to be I'll never know.).

I used to be a huge fan of RRW and, after getting burned with another cigarette and seeing a another biker punch out an outnumbered preppy, I was reminded why I don't go back too much. Then a miracle not seen since the days of Moses occurred. Just as the girls hit the bar for their final auditions, we found ourselves with a comfortable amount of space, because some dweebs left to get their beauty sleep. How cute.

In the end, the audience was asked to cheer, Apollo style, for the three winners. I tried to find out which girls were single before deciding who to cheer for. I ended up cheering for them all, at 88 decibels, four for each breast.

In the end, Dia, and two girls whose names escape me, won. Congratulations to them. And to Red Rock for putting on a kick-ass show. They reminded me why I never go to predictable bars.

Photos From the Tryouts: PK.com's | NYCBP.com's

And now, let's catch up with some PK.com favorite hotties...

• Kelli Graham — I recently sent follow-up questions to our July 2002 interview to the Naked News' newest entertainment correspondent. She recently did a photoshoot for Tongue magazine and I reminded her that I supported her long before Gene Simmons.

• Michelle's Wonderland — Our favorite 21-year-old Texas hottie keeps getting closer to the inevitable — nudity. She's actively involved in her Yahoo! club, and capitalized on a strong online following by landing local TV gigs and selling autographed 8x10s. She also has pics of her and my favorite bartender, Sara of Coyote Ugly, at the CU grand opening in Dallas. I asked her for an interview this past weekend, but no reply as of yet. Do your part by e-mailing her as a member of the PK.com army.

• Shannon Nowak — Shannon's main interest, when she's not dreaming of me, is her skin-care line. If you enjoy masturbating and eating too many French fries, this is the girl for you. You can also catch her lurking in her Yahoo! club, where she often posts Weekend Special photos.

• Cowgirl Haley — Haley hasn't been nearly as active online as we hoped, but she just busted out some new photos and even newer photos just before this update went to press. Welcome back, Haley.

• NYCBP.com Hottie Bartenders — Newest on our favorite site for booze and boobs is Timmie and Rebecca, the Thursday night team at Yogi's, that dump on Broadway between 75 and 76 Streets that my friends laugh at me for going to all the time. Once you get used to killing the men's room flies with streams of hot urine it's not that bad.

Whew, that was a lot of women in one night. Even I'm worn out. I hope you lesbians enjoyed that. And don't worry, gentlemen, I'll be back with a sports update probably tomorrow.