St. Louis is one of our country's most historic cities. It's where Lewis and Clark departed on their exploration of Louisiana Territory. It's where Tina Turner launched her career. It's the birthplace of NYCBP.com's dive bar documentarian, Kevin.
And this weekend, St. Louis proudly hosts the first-ever "Powwow of Pooper Scoopers." And that's no bullshit.
You thought rock musicians were a danger to repeat hotel business. Wait till the Association of Professional Animal Waste Specialists drops by. Expect the bar conversations to go something like this:
Man #1: Hi, we're from New Orleans. We just came up north to catch a Blues game and to see the arch. What do you do?
Man #2: I clean up dog shit.
Man #1 (To wife): We're outta here.
Those of you in St. Louis will not want to miss the main event: a contest to see whose scooper is quickest. For the sake of this country, I really, really wish I'd made this up.
Other News Items:
• Woman Downs 10 Pints of Wine to Win 'Miss Drunk' — Later that night, she laid claim to "Miss Passed Out in a Sewer."
• Few Takers for CD Settlement Cash — Filling out a simple online form could net you $20 if you bought a music CD between 1995 and 2000, but Wired reports that there have been few takers. You don't need a receipt, or taste in music.
• Man Loses Job for Blogging — His company apparently wasn't pleased at the return on their investment — the several updates a day on his personal home page.
• Free Condom Harsh Reminder of Sexless Existence — The Onion reports on a ficticious female bookstore manager who ain't gettin' any.
There are just too many obvious jokes in that pooper scooper convention.
Posted by trish at January 18, 2003 10:23 AM