You know, Paul, we here in Kansas City hate George Motherfuckin' Steinbrenner more than we hate most things in this world. I used to think that it is a jealousy thing......now, perhaps it is an ego thing.

The Royals v. Yankees series' of the late 70's and early 80's were some of the most heated, dirty series' in all of baseball. You were there to knock the other guy down. At one time, we could compete with that. Now, we can no longer......but are too proud to admit it.

Growing up in the midwest and cheering for the Royals from day one, you are taught 3 things:

1. Hate George Steinbrenner.

2. Hate Billy Martin.

3. Hate the Yankees.

It was a right of passage.

In the day of large market v. small market, I am embarrassed to say that when you go to Kauffman Stadium for a Royals v Yankees game, you will see 3 times as many Derek Jeter jerseys as you will Mike Sweeney jerseys. It is a sad thing. I wish someone would send us a modern-day George Steinbrenner.

I forgot to make these points, to rebut any small-market sob story:

* Blame baseball, not Steinbrenner. If payroll is the issue, then blame the league, not the man who plays by the rules, wins and profits. That's a model owner, not Satan.

* The Yankees are universally defined as a first-class organization. Compare that to, say, another giant, MTV, whose employees are always complaining of being taken advantage of.

* The Mets play in the same New York City, with all the "advantages." They've won one World Series in 40 years.

* How to explain the clutch, postseason play of the Yanks from 1996-2001, including 12 World Series wins in a row and those two amazing 9th-inning comebacks against the D-Backs? Sometimes it's what's in the player, not salary, that counts. The Yanks didn't get Griffey, but they held onto Bernie. They didn't get Manny Ramirez, but they have Jeter. The Yanks don't have the best player at any position, save Mariano Rivera. But those players win a lot more than Bonds, Pedro, etc.

I hate the Yankees, too, but I respect them, especially with the classy Torre managing the team. In Milwaukee, where we switched to the National League three years ago, we sure miss having the Yanks come into town twice a year to beat our brains in. Now, the entire National League gets to do it on a season-long basis. At least the brats are still delicious, and they're fixing our leaky roof as I write, so when we lose 100 games this year we at least won't be wet. Projected starting rotation: Ben Sheets, Glendon Rusch, Wayne Franklin, Mike Mathews and Nick Nuegebauer (or Ruben Quevedo). I just can't get over how bad that rotation is. The Yankees eighth starter would be the ace of that rotation. I go to 40 games a year. Pray for me.