It was reported in the New York Post today that the Queen of Fashion sent a Dollar Rent a Car employee to the hospital Friday after beaning her, Mike Piazza-style, with a yellow marker.

At Lexington Avenue and 84th Street, just a stone's throw from the original PK.com headquarters, Rivers grew impatient at having to wait in line with the rest of the humans. Instead of simply asking, "Can we talk?" Mount Rivers erupted with the one question that could get anyone's ass kicked around here: "Do you know who the fuck I am?"

I know who Rivers is. She's a Hollywood Square who rents from Dollar Rent a Car, for Christ's sake. Next time, try throwing a hissy fit in a Four Seasons, not a 12th-rate car rental service.

A surveillance camera reportedly caught the incident on tape, and I would pay a lot of money — as much as it costs to rent a Hyundai Sonata from Dollar Rent a Car — to view the plastic one going ape shit over having to wait in line in New York.

Also in the News Today:

• TIME's Person of the Year — It gets announced Sunday, and I already know who it is. And that's all I have to say about that.

• Nike Gives Foot Locker the Boot — Apparently not happy with the sneaker retailer's decision to devote more shelf space to products that are $120 or less — that's $120 for those of you, like me, who never spend more than $80 — Nike says it will not ship it's most expensive (read: overpriced) sneakers to Foot Locker at all.

• The Myth of Media Fairness — In the ring-wing New York Post, Michael Kelly says that there is indeed a media bias toward liberal politics, saying that it's not "fair" that Republican politicians never get as much positive press as their Democratic counterparts. Neither did Pat Buchanan or David Duke, my friends. Was that "not fair," either?

• North Korea Shuts Off U.N. Surveillance at Nuke Plant — If I die of natural causes it will be a miracle.

• Poll: Hillary Clinton Top 2004 Candidate Among Dems — I'd bet the ranch that Bill Clinton becomes the first First Lady with hair on his chest since Eleanor Roosevelt.