Heeeey! We've got an interview this week with Jump the Shark founder Jon Hein
Tongue action with Anna Kournikova. (That line should be good for about 2,000 hits from Google)
Guess the bull got tired of hearing how much of a beautiful sport this is
Nick Nolte no longer has to worry about getting his own E! True Hollywood Story
From Arnold Jackson's step-brother to a beardless Jesus, Danny Cooksey has done it all
Trigere Regine
The lovely Kerri answers a dozen questions in this week's Full Disclosure
Amy White is a University of Alabama grad who may or may not know she's gonna marry me someday
NYC LINKS
MurphGuide.com Anniversary Specials
New York's best online bar guide is celebrating five years of ruining our livers. Print out coupons to 40 NYC bars for MurphGuide appreciation week from Sept. 22-28.
Congratulations, Murph.
Who's on First — Upper East Side bar with superstars Chaundra and Amy on Thursday nights
Mr. Hipster — Hands-down the wittiest bar and restaurant reviews in the city. If the Mr. Hipster hasn't reviewed it, it's not worth going to.
NYCBP.com — If you pick your bar depending on what hot bartenders are working, this is your resource.
NetworkingGirl — Christan's always organizing events for NYC singles to get in bed with each other. Go see what she's got going on this week. Also see her Singles of the Week.
NYsolo.com — Coordinates activities for busy New Yorkers. Use "Molly McMillan" as reference. Dodgeball — NYCers rate bars and post reviews — and without the bridge-and-tunnel reviews that infect CitySearch.
There's only one man on Earth who brings Larry Dallas and Edna Garrett into a conversation more than I do, and his name is Jon Hein. Nearly five years ago, Jon founded the popular website JumpTheShark.com, on which users post their thoughts on when a television show turned irrevocably bad. (The title refers to the unforgettable Happy Days two-parter, in which Fonzie successfully jumped a shark on water skis, but forever sank a previously cool show.)
I got my hands on an advance copy of Jon's book, titled appropriately "Jump the Shark," in which he not only details the downfall of scores of TV shows, but delves into music, sports, celebrities and politics. This was the perfect opportunity for a PK.com interview and Top 10. Below I detail 10 shows in Jon's book, along with his analysis of when the show jumped the shark. I chime in with how I would have revived the doomed program.
Jon's Jump Moment: "The girls graduate Eastland and open up the bakeshop Edna's Edibles." How I'd Revive It: Suffering from a downturn in sales of croissants, Mrs. Garrett changes the shop's name to Edna's Edible Undies. Natalie balloons to 400 pounds and explodes in the series finale. Link:When do you think The Facts of Life
jumped the shark?
GILLIGAN'S ISLAND
Jon's Jump Moment: "The first time someone came to the Island and gave them a chance to get off." How I'd Revive It: Gilligan approaches Ginger and Mary Ann and says, "I'll give you both a chance to get off." Once the ladies discover that Gilligan is not referring to any kind of rescue mission, they remind him that Mr. Howell packed enough Viagra for a three-decade tour. Link:When do you think Gilligan's Island
jumped the shark?
FAMILY TIES
Jon's Jump Moment: "Andrew Keaton is born." How I'd Revive It: In 1992, ultra-liberals Steven and Elyse Keaton are so grateful to Bill Clinton for wresting away the White House after 12 years of GOP control that they'll do just about anything to thank him. Cigars, anyone? Link:When do you think Family Ties jumped
the shark?
THREE'S COMPANY
Jon's Jump Moment: "Chrissy is replaced by her cute, clutzy cousin, Cindy" How I'd Revive It: With the failing Jack's Bistro boasting a sign that reads, "Over 12 Sold," Mr. Angelino uses his mafia influence to order up an appetizer of arson and a main course of insurance collection. Link:When do you think Three's Company jumped the shark?
DIFF'RENT STROKES
Jon's Jump Moment: "Mr. Drummond remarries and little, red-haired Sam joins the cast." How I'd Revive It: It can't be done. That fire-crotched, country-croonin' midget ruined the show for good. Thanks a lot, mini-hick. Link:When do you think Diff'rent Strokes jumped the shark?
WHO WANTS TO BE A MILLIONAIRE?
Jon's Jump Moment: "The guy from the IRS wins the million." How I'd Revive It: Get Regis off the stage and replace him with his morning partner (and super-MILF) Kelly Ripa. And ask more than five questions per 30 minutes in order to lose the nickname "Jeopardy! for Dummies."
Link:When do you think Who Wants to Be a Millionaire? jumped the shark?
WHAT'S HAPPENING!!
Jon's Jump Moment: "Big Earl and Little Earl come to town." How I'd Revive It: I thought the addition of Little Earl was a great idea. Every sitcom could use a little jungle fever. I know Dee likes her men with a little more skin on their bones and I would have played up a love triangle between her, the 9-year-old squirt and Rerun. Link:When do you think What's Happening!! jumped the shark?
BEVERLY HILLS 90210
Jon's Jump Moment: "Brenda goes abroad." How I'd Revive It: The true curse was making David cool. I could handle Dylan's occasional philosophies on life. I could handle the cast getting tanked on three beers. But there was no way I was gonna believe that a 130-pound wigger was gonna get any broads in Beverly Hills. Link:When do you think Beverly Hills 90210 jumped the
shark?
MARRIED... WITH CHILDREN
Jon's Jump Moment: "Peg's relatives visit, run off, and leave the Bundys with seven." How I'd Revive It: The Bundys move to Manhattan's Upper West Side, where Bud makes a fortune by selling Al's beloved collection of skin mags to the guy who sells porn in the open air near my apartment on Broadway. He uses his newfound cash to open The Jiggly Room East and puts Scores out of business. Link:When do you think Married... With Children jumped the shark?
THE JEFFERSONS
Jon's Jump Moment: "Mike Evans replaces his replacement, Damon Evans (no relation) as Lionel." How I'd Revive It: The IRS hunts down George Jefferson, not believing that a dry cleaner can be considered "rich." But Weezie pulls an Erin Brockovich and uses her ample mammaries to win a legal case for Mr. J., allowing them to move from their two-bedroom "mansion" to one that could fit a television set. Link:When do you think The Jeffersons jumped the shark?
RANDOM WEIRDNESS
*Catching Up With Dudley From Diff'rent Strokes — You can stop the flood of e-mail requests. I have found an interview with Shavar Ross, who once shared a bathtub (sans shirt) with Gary Coleman while Gordon Jump took pictures. It's probably the lamest interview I've ever come across, but hey, it's Dudley!
*Nytshaed's Danny Cooksey Shrine — Let Nytshaed take you to the bowels of pop culture minutiae, with a tribute site to the guy who played Sam McKinney on Diff'rent Strokes when he was just a 9-year-old runt. Since then, things have been all uphill, with appearances in the TV series Salute Your Shorts and voice work for The Little Clowns of Happy Town.
*Fly the Copter — A maddeningly addictive yet simple game in which you fly a copter as far as you can without crashing, just like the Russian military. See if you can beat my score of 769.
*New York City Museum of Sex — On Sept. 23, the city that defined the term "get your 'freak' on" gets another museum to add to The Met, MOMA, Guggenheim, et al. Its first exhibition is "How New York City Transformed Sex in America." Trannies get in for free.
*VH1 Special: Booty Call — Billed as "a fun and fast-moving celebration of the tushe," this program promises to be VH1's most-watched show ever, so long as it pulls a rating higher than .000023.
*Hold the
Button — See you long you can keep your finger on the mouse in this riveting game. An hour? Two?
*Al Bundy Quotes — Some classic lines from the star of Married... With Children, including: "I don't HAVE to go to sleep after sex. I WANT to go to sleep after sex. I welcome the darkness."
FULL DISCLOSURE
Interviews with fellow webmasters. Want to be interviewed? E-mail Paul.
This interview was all your doing. After linking to Kerri's site a few weeks back, she sent a note of thanks for sending something like 1,000 new visitors to her online pad. Say what you will about PK.com fans — and when you're not around I say a lot — they know a good-looking gal when they see one.
So I asked Kerri to do an interview with us to find out just what it is this hot chick from Atlanta has going on these days. Check it out...
PK.com: Got an creepy online fans to warn us about?
IDREAMOFKERRI.com: I have been very lucky. I do not have any creepy fans. Most are way cool and e-mail me regularly.
A guy who portends to know nothing about women, but everything about the better sex answers one question a week from anonymous women using the GuyCritical.com service.
QUESTION: Is it OK to flirt with local guys if the boyfriend lives far away (like different time zone)?
*ESPN.com columnist blasts Rams coach Mike Martz — Adrian Wojnarowski starts his piece with "The smug, arrogant act of the St. Louis Rams coach ends now." He doesn't get any kinder after that. I question whether a guy who writes for The Record (Northern N.J.) is qualified to take personal and professional shots at an NFL head coach.
LAND OF THE FREE, HOME OF THE BRAVE
*Ground Zero Theme Park — A supposed humorous link, I found on an insensitive punk's site on 9/11. I e-mailed him a personal invitation to come to ground zero with me. He told me to take a chill pill. I passed the nearby firehouse of Engine 40, Ladder 35 at 10:30 a.m. on 9/11. Saw plenty of uniformed men, their wives and kids. Absent were 12 murdered a year ago. I didn't 'em to lighten up and take a chill pill.
*Sept. 11: One Year Viewed From Space — If one has never been to the WTC, I don't know if one can grasp the magnitude of the world's fifth- and sixth-largest buildings crumbling, but these pictures before and after 9/11 provide a hint.
*Billy Joel to rent NYC apartment to meet women — Resigning to the fact that he ain't gonna meet chicks in East Hampton, the Piano Man plans to move into the big city. Wingman reporting to duty, sir.
THE WEEKLY LADIES
*Trigere Regine — Dubya is looking for regime change. I'm looking at Regine changing.
*Amy White — Apparently, an acquaintance of this week's Full Disclosure interviewee Kerri. I'd like to get to know them both better.
