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You'd be upset, too, if your post-race dinner was at Sizzler
Like the real Jenna Jameson, her doll is made of plastic
You'll never miss an episode of Star Trek with this baby
Look, man, don't get all pissy on me
Go check out Shannon's new body of work
Ferrara
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NYC LINKS
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MurphGuide.com — A daily guide to bar specials and events
Who's on First — Upper East Side bar with superstars Chaundra and Amy on Thursday nights
Mr. Hipster — Hands-down the wittiest bar and restaurant reviews in the city. If the Mr. Hipster hasn't reviewed it, it's not worth going to.
NYCBP.com — If you pick your bar depending on what hot bartenders are working, this is your resource.
NetworkingGirl — Christan's always organizing events for NYC singles to get in bed with each other. Go see what she's got going on this week. Also see her Singles of the Week.
NYsolo.com — Coordinates activities for busy New Yorkers. Use "Molly McMillan" as reference.
Dodgeball — NYCers rate bars and post reviews — and without the bridge-and-tunnel reviews that infect CitySearch.
* Got an NYC-centric site to plug? Let me know.
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This update is for all those who think I'm weird. Folks, you ain't seen nothin'.
My traffic reporting tool allows me to see the search terms people used to find PK.com. (Around 90 percent of them are sex-related.) Here are some of the best from the previous week. Thanks to Joe for the topic suggestion.
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naughty muslim breasts
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Comments: When searching for Muslim breasts, you've got to be sure to find the right type. You don't want to get stuck with well-behaved Muslim breasts. So boring.
Link: See search result on Yahoo!
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drunk passed out fetish
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Comments: Ah, yes, what man doesn't get aroused at the sight of a comatose, vomit-breathed skank with her precious cheek pressed firmly on the bathroom tile floor? Is it hot in here or is it just me?
Link: See search result on Yahoo!
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Vince Neil underwear photo
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Comments: Rock stars in skivvies. It's one of my specialties, and so it's only natural that one would descend on PK.com for a picture of the booted Motley Crue singer in his tighty whities. Next week: the guy from Stryper in Batman Underoos.
Link: See search result on Yahoo!
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naked wallpaper of Mary-Kate And Ashley Olsen
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Comments: Since starting this site over two years ago, I have learned to pity the future of the world. If there's ever a time in my life when I'd want my computer to load up with naked pictures of bad-acting teens, it would be time to call it quits.
Link: See search result on Yahoo!
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britney spheres
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Comments: OK, if you can't spell the name of the world's biggest pop star, how could you even know how to turn the computer on?
Link: See search result on Google
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list of 50 woman "I like porn"
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Comments: Look, if I had a list of 50 women who liked porn I wouldn't be be sitting at my desk right now.
Link: See search result on Google
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I'm looking at gay porno
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Comments: You and me both, man. Everyone needs a little gay porno, especially at work. The guy was obviously looking for the classic audio file that you should send to everyone you know.
Link: See search result on Google
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nude neighbors
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Comments: Neighbors. We all got 'em. Too bad all of mine are like 90 years old. You won't be seeing them nude here.
Link: See search result on Netscape
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sports bloopers nude
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Comments: Playing in the nude is about the only dumb thing the Mets haven't done this season. Good riddance to them and the Red Sox after this month.
Link: See search result on AOL
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rosanne bar nude
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Comments: God, please tell me these photos are not available online, offline, in space or anywhere. Please.
Link: See search result on AOL
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RANDOM WEIRDNESS
* Nerd Watch Museum — A collection of those watch-calculator combos that was cool for about a month in the early '80s. And yeah, I had one, but I was like 10 years old.
* Jenna Jameson Bobblehead Doll — For people who have not seen the porn star's head bouncing up and down enough. (Thanks, Justin)
* Conan O'Brien's Video Archive — Review some classic moments of the funniest man in New York, aside from the guy who brought all those new players to the Mets this past offseason.
* The Weirdest Names of the Century — One woman's collection of names she came across as a legal secretary. Are you out there, David Crapo? Paging Bertha Titsworth. Anyone seen Dick Butter lately? (See my world's worst names update from July 2001.)
* Uncle Melon's Golden Guide to the Seashore — Nothing says "let's get the hell out of here" like finding a used condom on the beach.
* Who's Ass Is That? — Test your knowledge of celebrity rumps. I did poorly, which I think is a good thing.
* The Super Ball Position — A guide to sex positions includes this one that looks physically impossible. I've done calisthenics that looked more arousing.
* IdiomSite.com — Find out the origin of such common sayings as "balls to the wall," "in like Flynn" and "Paul, can you link to my site?"
GUYCRITICAL.COM QUESTION OF THE WEEK
A guy who portends to know nothing about women, but everything about the better sex answers one question a week from anonymous women using the GuyCritical.com service.
LAND OF THE FREE, HOME OF THE BRAVE
* If You Have Dignity, the Terrorists Have Won — Ted Rall editorializes on the "cheesification" of 9/11. Let's do it right this week.
* That Was the Day That Was — Wired looks at how people communicated on 9/11.
* Delay meant death on 9/11 — The right reaction of those in the towers was, sadly, panic.
* Pew Research Center's Findings on 9/11 — Apparently, 11% of the nation knew someone killed on 9/11. I find it hard to believe the number was that high. Very sad if true.
Part of my job requires me to poke around AOL from time to time. I dropped in on one of its 9/11 message boards and wanted to share a few of the posts that stuck out. I would like five minutes with each one of these people. Alone.
people died on 911, big deal. people die, its what we DO. we've been doing it for thousands of years and we'll continue to do it. im also sick of the WTC families whining all the time. they bitch cause they ONLY get a million plus, when a soldiers family gets MAYBE 100,000 when they suffer a death. GET OVER IT ALREADY, MOVE THE HELL ON!!!!!!!!!!! life is for the living.....
SirSpudzalottte@aol.com
We've ALL lost family members to death at one point or another. After a year, we've moved on with our lives already. Why is Sept. 11 so special?? A death is a death. You grieve and then you go on with your life. The media is getting off on all the 9/11 hoopla and refuse to let it go and I for one am sick and tired of hearing about it. It happened, and it's a year later and it's time to start moving on and let it go already!!!!! Don't agree with me? I couldn't care less. This is how I feel about it and i'm happy to tell the world about it!!!! Misery loves company and that's exactly what most Americans are all about sadly. They will never let it go cause they kinda get off harping on and on about it...
badhardtop@AOL.COM
I just cant understand why everyone is walking around with their heads down over this. I mean, dont get me wrong, it was a tragedy, but do you people understand that for those victims there is no more crying? no more hardtimes? no more pain? They are currently in a bigger and better place, so why is everyone walking around still crying? It's not gonna bring them back by shedding tears or wanting revenge, jesus is coming back people, september 11th was just his warning cry, and you'd better realize that
Kris On Da Line@aol.com
THE NEWSDESK
* College men may need course in condom use — Hey, kids, here's a tip. It goes on your penis.
* Britney turned on by lesbian porn — Our favorite pop star takes a liking to Jenna Jameson. You and me both, kid.
* Maxim saves journalism — I don't know about all that, but nice pictures.
THE WEEKLY LADIES
* AskMen.com's 99 Most Desirable Women — One of these days I'll do my own Top 10 Most Desirable Women, but for now you can check out this site. I've never heard of No. 1, Monica Belluci, but I think I'm gonna rent her movies, even if they are in Italian.
* SportsByBrooks.com Gal Colene — Holy lord in heaven, I'm going to start a career as a sports radio host and hang out with hotties like this.
* Ferarra at Play — Can Ferrara come out and play? Oh, yes.
SPECIAL ANNOUNCEMENT
One of our favorite PK.com gals, Shannon Nowak, who did a great interview with me awhile back, sent a note that her long-awaited skin care line has made its debut.
Head on over there and buy some beauty products so your gal looks as hot as Shannon.
NEXT WEEK
Coming soon will be classic jump the shark moments.
Send your link suggestions now.
HEY, MAN, IT'S JUST A JOKE
Let us all bellow at this classic exchange from "Airplane!"
Simon: Gentlemen, I'd like you to meet your captain, Captain Oveur.
Clarence Oveur: Gentlemen, welcome aboard.
Simon: Captain, your navigator, Mr. Unger, and your first officer, Mr. Dunn.
Clarence Oveur: Unger.
Unger: Oveur.
Dunn: Oveur.
Clarence Oveur: Dunn. Gentlemen, let's get to work.
Simon: Unger, didn't you serve under Oveur in the Air Force?
Unger: Not directly. Technically, Dunn was under Oveur and I was under Dunn.
Dunn: Yep.
Simon: So, Dunn, you were under Oveur and over Unger.
Dunn: Yep.
Clarence Oveur: That's right. Dunn was over Unger and I was over Dunn.
Unger: So, you see, both Dunn and I were under Oveur, even though I was under Dunn.
Clarence Oveur: Dunn was over Unger, and I was over Dunn.
PARTING SHOT
Bon Jovi in Times Square. Is this city great or what?
THE ARCHIVE
Missed a week of PaulKatcher.com? Shame on you.
Hit the archive and see what you missed.
Recent issues include Spring Break, the Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issue. Before that we (un)covered Mardi Gras 2002.
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