|
Get a whiff of this guy
White men can fart
The Extreme Ironing Champion
Click Mike's balls to go to a page with video of his brawl with Lennox Lewis
I want my mommy. I'm scared
My kind of gal — one with no motor skills
Shayla Stevens wanted me to say to y'all. Well, she would if she knew who I was
Roxanne Galla in all her glory
Janna Svenson
|
The theme this week is sports, in honor of the upcoming national holiday, Super Bowl Sunday. Next week's issue will be Mardi Gras. Send links to paul@paulkatcher.com or post them in the message board.
Imagine a stupid site this this with an editorial calendar.
* Top 10 Classic Sexiest Athletes — — From ESPN.com's Page 2, the best sports site out there, a list that includes Katarina Witt, Flo-Jo and (gasp!) men.
* Player Celebrates Goal by Nibbling Scorer's Penis — The sports lowlight of 2001, unless you count that whole XFL thing.
* NFL Star Thanks Jesus After Successful Double Homicide — This is a news item from The Onion, so it might stretch the truth just a tad. But I could still see it happening sometime.
* Extreme Ironing: Taking Ironing to the Edge — The latest danger sport that combines the thrills of an extreme outdoor activity with the satisfaction of a well-pressed shirt.
* Ten Worst Moments To Have Been A Sports Fan — A list of crushing defeats, with commentary. If you're a Red Sox fan from Buffalo, you've really had it rough.
* Watch the top 10 Super Bowl commercials of all time, including the one in which Mean Joe Greene tossed that kid a jersey. Nowadays, a guy like Ray Lewis would just as easily stab you in the stomach. You may also watch last year's Super Bowl commercials.
* Our So-Called Sport 2001 Awards — Pro wrestling awards for last year, including Best Belly Button (congratulations, Iron Sheik).
* Top Five Basketball Courts in America — NYC's own West 4th Street court gets the nod at No. 1. If I tried to play pick-up there, I might be picked just ahead of the garbage can.
* Howard Cosell's May 1972 Playboy Interview — Tellin' it like it is in a magazine nobody actually reads.
RANDOM WEIRDNESS
* Guido School — Wanna learn to be a guido or guidette? Then click on the friggin' links, stupid. (Thanks, David.)
* DrunkenTales.com Photos — Pace yourself, people. Pace yourself.
* Frat-Beat! — Where guys like us can chill and do our thing — sans the chickies! So crack a brewski and dig in, bra — cuz it's party time!
* The Vanishing Tattoo Guest Photographers — High-quality user-submitted photos of people in tattoos. Now I just have to make sure that there's at least one body of water separating me from these freaks.
* BodyPerks — Nipple enhancers as used on Sex and the City — and also by your girlfriends. (Thanks, SomeIdiot.)
* Sheep Man — The story of a man obsessed with a sheep toy. So I guess there are two of us now. (Thanks, Brad.)
* The Real Truth Behind MTV's The Real World Houses — Tour the supercool shacks that served as living quarters for each group of seven strangers, including obligatory gay computer whiz.
About the Real World 10 New York residence: "The 4,000 sq. foot loft is in a building that was once a sausage factory."
Sounds like most of the bars I've been to.
* Behind The Music That Sucks: Britney Spears — A Flash movie from Heavy.com that serves as the definitive history of the pop diva. Who that the Pope inspired her supposed breasts implants by saying, "She's a carpenter's dream ... flat as a board."
* Alex Chiu's Eternal Life Device — The self-proclaimed most important invention in the world, its goals is to allow humans to live forever. Now the only question is, Where are we going to get enough Viagara? (Thanks, David.)
* Spin Magazine's 50 Greatest Bands Ever — The usual suspects, and do we really care what Spin thinks? But it's a list of stuff, so we have to look at it. Not having KISS in the top 25 is a crime. What's a band supposed to be if not original, wildly popular, long-lasting and influential?
* Take This IQ Test — A 32-question test good for killing 10 minutes at work. I scored a 136, which ranks as "highly intelligent." Did you think some moron could run this web site?
* Top products of CES 2002 — ZDNet profiles the coolest consumer tech products set to hit the market, including portable DVD players, MP3 players and a video camera/MP3 combo.
LAND OF THE FREE, HOME OF THE BRAVE
* Here Is New York: A Democracy of Photographs — A truly remarkable collection of photos that was part of a SOHO exhibition in which everyone who had taken pictures relating to the tragedy was invited to bring their images to the gallery — or FTP them to be scanned and printed.
* Standing Memorials in NYC — With all the discussion about what kind of 9/11 memorial would be best, the New York Times details the current memorials around NYC, from a 148-foot Doric column to a pocketful of blackened dimes and nickels.
* Why I Hate America — A Palestinian writes that he has two choices: submissively accept perpetual enslavement and oppression or become an Osama bin Laden. He likens the relationship of America and Palestine to Hitler's Germany and the Jews. How self-important and warped. Who gives a crap about Palestine?
* Project Liberty: Feel Free to Feel Better — Through Project Liberty, free counseling services are available to anyone affected by the terrorist attacks of September 11 in the metropolitan New York City region. It's a noble mission that we can all play a role in — just be kind to each other.
THE NEWSDESK
* Candidate gives Viagra, calls for nation to rise — Who knew Bill Clinton was back on the campaign trail?
* Percentage of conservative Ivy League professors: zero — Maggie Gallagher finds this stat troubling. I find it telling, considering Ivy League schools are regarded as the brightest.
Lowlight: "Perhaps equally troubling, from an educational and intellectual standpoint, is the relative uniformity of religious preference, or lack thereof. Just one out of five professors attended religious services at least once a week."
Good for them. Maybe they've got better things to do, like teaching concrete skills rather than unproven ideas.
* Enron for Dummies — Bill Keller's editorial in the New York Times answers many of our most basic questions, like So it was about sex, after all?
* Syracuse man arrested for masturbating into coffee cups of coworkers — Man, the police want to crack down on everything these days.
THE WEEKLY LADIES
* Opie and Anthony's Naughty Nighty Contest — The contestants are in (click link atop the page), and I guess the voting starts soon. I don't know — I don't even listen to the show.
* Roxanne Galla — Sexy Playboy and Mystique model. Also makes frequent appearances in my shower.
* Shayla Stevens — You must also check out the action and adventure section of her official web site. Here's a hint: it involves ropes.
* Key West Fantasy Fest — Lots o' bodypainting going on, I think around Halloween. Like a dumbass, I went to Key West last November.
* JL Photography Models — Mucho photo sets of models looking to hit it big. And that's where I come in.
|
P
a
u
l
K
a
t
c
h
e
r
.
c
o
m
