* A page full of memorable dumb sports quotes includes such favorites as:
- Football commentator and former player Joe Theismann 1996: "Nobody in football should be called a genius. A genius is a guy like Norman Einstein."
- Marlon Starling: "I'll fight Lloyd Honeyghan for nothing if the price is right."
- New Orleans Saint RB George Rogers when asked about the upcoming season: "I want to rush for 1,000 or 1,500 yards, whichever comes first."
* Odd Todd's Day Off — So, what does one do when he's been laid off? This very funny Flash movie hints that it might not be worth waking up.
* Inside Mariah Carey's Mailbag — The Smoking Gun reveals some revealing correspondence.
* Before I went away I saw the Top 40 Hair Bands of All Time, hosted by Dee Snider, on VH-1. It was great. Whoever wrote the script was right on, and Dee delivered the sarcasm perfectly. The show was fun without making too much fun, because, after all, very few people can claim to have sold millions of records, toured all over the world, made tons of money and had to beat women off with a stick. But those "losers" in Poison, Motley Crue and KISS have.
Anyway, check out this guy's criticism of VH-1's list of hair bands. He points out that Def Leppard and KISS were too low on the list, but I think it's because those bands retain some respect in the music industry.
* OK, now everyone has a home page, even General Zod, the villain in Superman II who looks like Pavarotti minus 200 pounds.
* Snopes.com debunks the rumor that Kevin Costner was caught having sex with Cal Ripken's wife, jeopardizing the Iron Man's streak. I am so sick of hearing this one from people who work/have worked in sports. Their sources are always as reliable as a Cancun cab driver, who never seems to have change at the end of the ride.
* Orioles and the Law documents all of the Baltimore players and their run-ins. For as much as athletes make the police blotter, you can imagine how many times they DON'T get caught breaking the law. I want to know why the signing of Albert Belle is not on this list of crimes. Here's a joke: What goes into 15 twice? Luis Polonia.
* ESPN's Rumor Central is the perfect bookmark for a baseball fan. They'll scour the newspapers to see which GMs are in touch with with free agents. See the Rangers, Braves, Mets, Red Sox and Dodgers spend money to no avail again.
* The Ugly Office Contest — Can you imagine spending 40 hours a week in these dens?
* With the holiday shopping season coming up, you webmasters might want to check out Refer-It.com, a portal of affiliate programs. See if you can make a few bucks here and there without doing much work.
* The Keating Perspective's Sept. 7 update warned that "the U.S. is on the verge of attack by various Islamic factions." This is one of the weirdest sites I've ever descended on — and this stuff could easily have been back-dated, but it did wig me out, nonetheless.
* A Chilean businessman plans to launch an Osama bin Laden soap and bin Laden air-fresheners, because, "it's a name that people already know." And I also know that Chile has at least one idiot among its population.
* Firm marketing parachute for office workers — Be the first coward on your block to own one.
* Find the Terrorist — One of the insightful, yet fun, animations at MarkFiore.com. This Flash movie won't let you blow up Osama but it may shed some light on tolerance.
* Dershowitz: The truly moral person is the atheist who behaves well — The Harvard professor argues that people who firmly believe they are doing God's will serve their own purpose and therefore are not heroic.
* I did not know any of the 30 Syracuse University alumni who were victims of the Sept. 11 attacks. I wonder if any college was hit harder than my alma mater. We have such a presence in New York City.
* New York survivor's son turns traitor — At least these guys are so warped by religious beliefs that they admit their intentions to kill Americans. That way we know which heads to put bullets into.
SILLY JOKE
Q: Why don't the Taliban teach driver's ed and sex ed in the same day?
A: Because the camels can't handle it.
* Woman gets life for skinning boyfriend — Girl meets boy. Girl skins boy. Girl serves boy to his children as part of a stew.
* Eighteen-year-old elected mayor — The only U.S. mayor promises cheaper pizza in the cafeteria.
* Want lucky lottery ticket? Bet on car bomb — Proof that the best way to NOT share lottery winnings is to stay away from numbers others will bet, like low numbers (birthdays) and numbers in the news.
* Nate Newton caught in van with 213 pounds of marijuana — This guy was caught with more grass than a Nebraska farmer.
* Police clueless on star's pregnancy — It's not like policemen chose their jobs over brain surgery.
* Karen Cogz has a portfolio just for you.
* Looks like there are a few more pictures at the Claudia Emporium, a fan site for a Jersey bartender, since the last time I linked to it.
* Tracey Walker has about eight million modeling photos and embedded audio of Journey.
* See if you can spot the aspiring actresses in these NakedLA club party photos.
* Here are the gals from Temptation Island 2. Don't expect them to become household names like the oh-so-average Survivor I chicks.
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2. See what you missed in the archive.
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