MY STUFF Just some random stuff (Sept. 30, 2001 11:52 p.m. ET) Roe, Roe, Roe your boat to Roe's Place Carmen Garcia I wish you didn't just take a crap in a Port-a-Potty Jessica Alba: not usually my cup of tea, but I'll drink to this Damn, and I thought my housewarming party was fun That's quite a handful I always hated the polka — till now In volleyball, this means "I have a great ass" I'm not prepared enough to lead with one topic, so I'll just throw out some random links to I find to be interesting, sexy or cool — the only three qualifications for the site. As always, send me a note if you come across a link that should be here next week. * All right, someone find this grandma posing for a webcam in her skivvies and arrest her promptly. * Playboy wants to know: Who's the hottest Real World babe? Hef will be be contacting the highest vote-getters for a photoshoot, so make your selection wisely. (That means no Heather from NYC.) * The Camel Toe Report is dedicated to the quest for the perfect toe. See women's toes, men's toes, sports toes, and educate yourself by learning the history of toe. * These Larry King USA Today column parodies serve as a tribute to the talk-show host who will cease his writing duties. What he'll do with the extra four minutes each week I don't know. * Got a couple plugs for friend Kevin Fitzpatrick of New York City Bartenders and Patrons — His Who's on First? site is the official site of a bar on Manhattan's Upper East Side. I went there a few times and saw a couple hot lesbians putting on a show once. And his NYC memorial photos are touching. Kevin is pure New York — a guy who moved here long ago, because there's no better place to be — and he captured the sorrow and spirit of New York better than any professional photographer who descended on our city to make some cash. * Maxim released its 99 hot sites — among the quality finds: Celebrity Nudity Database (for when you just can't remember the name of that Alyssa Milano movie everyone on the Web has searched for) and Virtual Crack Rock (where you can send crack to someone you love). * The New York Times' CyberNavigator is its official selective guide to the Internet, used by its journalists to conduct research. Knowledge is power. * I like Mike Ditka's weekly column on RealTeam.com. He shares his true thoughts, which is all one can ask from an analyst. I'll never understand how former players and coaches get analyst gigs if they act too diplomatic and never have a critical word to say. * Forbes released its list of the 400 richest Americans. I came in at 401 this year, but look out in 2002. You'll notice that five of the top 10 are members of the Walton family (Wal-Mart). Can you imagine what Christmas must be like in that family? "Oh, a new Mercedes in my stocking!" WE SHALL NEVER FORGET 9/11 When prepping for my Sunday night updates, I bookmark anything that catches my attention throughout the week. So much of what I found to be worth a visit this week was related to the attacks on America. I know it's not relevant to the rest of this site, but that tragic day wasn't relevant to anything. * NY Art Lab has some high-resolution pictures of the attacks and the aftermath. I know there are plenty of photos out there, but I can't seem to look away. These photos serve as a necessary reminder as to the scope of the tragedy. It's great to try to get back to normal, but we can't try to forget. * More than any other picture, this photo of over 20 people hanging out the windows of a burning tower underscores the crime against humanity that these acts were. * Here's an interview with the photographer who took the photo of a burning tower with a supposed image of the devil's face being formed by the smoke. * I love the 911 Tower that grows as people sign their names. It validates, in a basic way, strength in numbers. THE NEWSDESK * Grandmothers bare all for new curtains — You should see what they do for a box of prunes. * GM to discontinue Camaro, Firebird — Thankfully for guidos, Drakkar Noir will remain in production. * It's a new record for cockroach eating! — And for dessert we have rat, skunk and opossum. * Thinking the unthinkable: Disney takeover — This ain't the funniest story ever, but it's interesting to note that Disney's stock is so low that a buyout is possible. * Telethon CD, DVD in the works — If you caught some of the great musical performances during the "America: A Tribute to Heroes" telethon, you can but one of these babies for charity. Most of the music is also available free on Morpheus, but do your part and contribute financially in some way. THE WEEKLY LADIES * Roe's Place is the no-B.S. Internet home of amateur model Roe. There's 17 pages of photos, and it's done real well. Good luck to her. * Carmen Garcia wears bikinis on stage a lot. * I know the job market sucks, but Misty4Hire.com is, I assume, looking for work. I think a lot of guys pay girls like this a lot of money to take their pictures. Not really sure. * Cheri Roberts has her portfolio online, too. Like shooting fish in a barrel. BEFORE YOU LEAVE 1. Jump into the anonymous message board and share some funny, weird, sexy links. Over 1,000 people visit this site each day. If only a small percentage post every now and then, there will be enough content to keep this site active every day. 2. See what you missed in the archive. Send to a friend | E-mail Paul | Sign Guestbook | View Guestbook   Search terms used to land on this site TERM COMMENT "wedgie sorority" Alfa Beta Thonga "shirtless volleyball pictures" a league of my own "ugly pit babes" most pit babes I know are gorgeous "ass grabbing pictures" the beginnings of a wonderful coffee table book "amputees having sex" talk about a S-L-O-W Saturday night "galleries ass abuse" one more search like this and I'm shutting down the site "flintbones pictures" like this is an archive of bad porn movies "scooters at hooters" boys' toys; men's toys "andruw jones nude" Your source for naked center fielders! "funny sports videos" Wouldn't that be Clippers.com? "wedgie volleyball" A new Olympic event "snake through nose" Must've been researching a term paper "free picture of nude midget" Sorry, we charge for pictures of nude midgets here "salami sandwich" One of the most popular search terms on the Web "saved by the bell belch" Must've been a killer episode "midget dwarf humor" Why even add the term "humor?" "nightclub oil wrestling" Someone please tell me where this place is "nude chickenheads" Sorry, only clothed chickenheads here "dustin diamond naked" Whoever searched for this is now banned from the site "bra strap fan" Personally, I'm a Yankees fan "what lions eat" Must've been a sixth-grade paper gone bad. Sorry kid Send to a friend | E-mail Paul | Sign Guestbook | View Guestbook FEEDBACK E-mail Paul Message Board Sign Guestbook View Guestbook Send to a friend INTERVIEWS TracyLines.com JumpTheShark.com idreamofkerri.com LisaMenuto.com KelliGraham.com YourDreamModel.com WhosNYC.com RoundCardGirlz.com SomeIdiot.com SportsByBrooks.com MurphGuide.com Honeygirlx.com MirandaRox.com CamGirlDirectory.com GoShannon.com NYCBP.com GuyCritical.com NetworkingGirl.com ARCHIVE Muppets Infomercial Products Halloween Costumes Favorite Wrestlers Jump the Shark Weird Searches Vanity Credit Cards Random Update Things to Never See Again Best Movie Songs Ever My Favorite TV Shows My Favorite Yankees Random Update 20th Century Moments More Favorite Movies Funny Audio Underrated Things Overrated Things Bad Hair Celebrity Lookalikes Underrated TV stars Where Are They Now? 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