This week I was saddened to read that Whitman Mayo, the man who played Grady Wilson on "Sanford and Son" had passed away. (Pictures and sounds from the show.) Some are posting condolences on Grady's Guestbook, and I think you should, too. Do it for Julio.
And check out this blasphemy: Several people have charged that the the end of Sanford & Son was due to "too much Grady." I have to agree with another sentiment, though, and pin the demise on TOO MUCH ROLLO.
I had barely gotten over the news that Tackleberry from Police Academy 1-12 had gone to the big gun shop in the sky, and now this.
Anyway, I got to thinking, just what is Grady's legacy? I mean, just where does he rank among the most crucial of all television roles, that of the wacky, oversexed, underpaid, but friggin' hilarious wacky neighbor?
As a backdrop, let's take a look at TeeVee.org's 17 Greatest Sitcom Supporting Actors.
Not a terrible list. Mad props for including Mr. Bentley, Herb Tarlick and Chief Kanisky, but I simply cannot endorse a list that so brazenly, so spitefully leaves off Squiggy from "Laverne & Shirley."
Here's the official PaulKatcher.com ranking of top wacky neighbors.
3. SCHNEIDER, One Day at a Time
Pros: Gum-smackin', toothpick-gnawing, roll-the-cig-in-the-sleeve badass. Never met a dripping faucet he couldn't fix and always tended to Mrs. Romano, even though she was ugly as sin
Cons: Spent too many Saturday nights alone with his monkey wrench
See Pat "Schneider" Harrington's official Web site. I think he's got some pics of McKenzie Phillips doing coke.
2. LARRY, Three's Company
Pros: No man was more clutch when getting digits from stewardesses or pairs of twins. Somehow managed to meet women at the Regal Beagle, a bar with less ambiance than a White Castle restroom
Cons: Hairier than an Arab on Rogaine
This page dedicated to Larry deserves an entire PaulKatcher.com update. It's like a time machine filled with Greedy Gretchen, Larry's nude streak during a party and Larry's Love Rules.
1. SQUIGGY, Laverne & Shirley
Pros: The hair, the jacket, the voice all man.
Cons: Spent too much time with cock-blocking Lenny. Also had an unexplainable crush on Laverne, who was hairier than Larry Dallas.
Need proof: Lenny and Squiggy quotes.
OK, now post pros and cons of your favorite wacky TV neighbors in the message board.
* Extreme Elvis is "An obese North American dedicated to the world of farandula." He also happens to be one of the weirdest muthas on the planet.
* Another list I deem bogus is Maxim's Greatest Movie Moments. Rodney Dangerfield's perfect Triple Lindy gets ranks only at No. 52? C'mon, people. We're talking a 10 here, after being called out of the stands and pulling off a series of flawless fart noises under his arm pits.
You can also see a video of Rodney performing the Triple Lindy.
Read this account of how some dude's friend broke her leg simply attempting the Triple Lindy.
* A couple new Pokeman characters from Hecklers Online: Gropeman and Kareokeman.The kids will just love 'em.
* Good news, everyone. This site ranks No. 2 on Yahoo! when searching for "extreme ass stretching." And yes, that showed up in my referrer log.
I'm a little lower for "farm girl oops pics," and yes, some sicko searched for that, too.
* How could I spend so much time on the three TV studs above and not throw out a link to pro wrestling manager Classy Freddie Blassie's bio? I swear I once sat at a table next to this guy at a Japanese Hibachi steakhouse. All I can say is that I have no idea how he earned the moniker "The Fashion Plate of Wrestling."
Sticking with the wrestling theme, here a page detailing some wrestling gimmicks that could have worked but didn't. Anyone remember the Rougeau Brothers or the Can-Am Connection?
* Check out this new book Brothel: Mustang Ranch and Its Women.
Here's all you need to know: "Dr. Albert went as far into this world as it is possible to go some will say too far including sitting in on sessions with customers..."
So for $300, you get an hour with an AIDS-invested drug addict and a Harvard med student taking notes on your pecker.
* Last week at the Jersey Shore, I saw a couple cool cover bands and thought I'd plug 'em: Poppa Squat and Mentally Bankrupt.
* Over three million Chinese drink their own urine. I'll never look at egg drop soup the same way again.
* Advertisers hope eau de urine will lure pet lovers. This from the same people who thought banner ads would support the Internet.
* 1997 Spring break nationals bikini contest. Vintage year.
* Sci-fi sirens. I guess these ladies appear on Star Trek and in comic books and other crap I wouldn't be caught dead paying attention to.
* Hooters Derby bikini contest page. This could be the second time around for this link. Who cares?
* Mike's Fitness Universe Sexy Babes. I wanna be like Mike.
* Monica Brandt will autograph her photos for $10 each.
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