Now, THAT's journalism. I mean, how much faith can I now have in Page Six's celebrity sightings at city restaurants?

(Realizing its gaffe, after receiving perhaps 1,000 e-mails poking fun at them, the Post took down the online version of the story.)

Anyway, if you're looking for a phony name to use on message boards, ransom notes and Blogger updates — or just to give to ugly people at bars — try some of these:

Sofonda Cox	Bill Lowmey	Phil McCrevis
Eric Shun	Dick Fitswell	Hugh Direction
Harry Ballsonya	Gabe Barr	Craven Moorehead
Anita Hanchob	Clyde Torris	Felton Lictor

Check these resources for more phony names:

• Jeff Goebel's Fake Names to Use
• The Ultimate List of Stupid Names
• The Tube Bar Fictional Names
• PodLand's Spoof Names

* Online campaign to defend Kevin Duckworth — Because it's OK to dunk basketballs right after Dunkin' Donuts.

* People are just dying to have their picture taken with Beer Can Bob. That thing gets more ass than a toilet seat.

* Movieman's Celebrity Bra Size Chart — I've linked to this before, and it was hugely popular.

However, I'm wary of some of the measurements? Shania Twain with a 36D chest? Not a chance.

* Escort Job Listings — Pros: Discreet and high-class. Cons: Drunken businessmen will sweat on you during sex.

* Spooner from Lame King conducted an exclusive interview with Elisabeth from Survivor 2. (Includes important information on cheese and turkey sandwiches.)

* Honk if you like honkers. It's the Big Nose Appreciation Page.

* A Cowboy's guide to life includes:

• Never kick a fresh turd on a hot day.
• Never drop your gun to hug a grizzly.
• Always remember you're unique, just like everyone else.

* If anyone out there is looking to pose as a biker, here are some biker slang terms to help you sound like the real thing.

Among my favorites:

• Checkbook Biker — Someone who goes down to the dealership and writes a check for a new bike and new gear.
• Death Grip — Usually how a first time rider grabs the handle bars.
• Fender Fluff — Nice lookin' babe on the back.

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