PaulKatcher.com
Updated Every Sunday


PaulKatcher.com All of Web

Attention: The anonymous Message Board is now open. Hit it.
e/n Site Reviews (April 29, 2001 10:06 p.m.)


Shaquille O'Neal's free-throw instructor is a big fan of this site


C3PO peeks into Carrie Fisher's trailer


Look, ma, no brains


Is this seat taken?


For Rent: One-bedroom apartment, new kitchen, great view



"There she is, Ms. Leather International 1991"



Me and my ex-girlfriend, whom I dumped for not doing the dishes


Does this make me look fat?



The average girl next door ... to the Playboy mansion


These days there are more e/n (everything/nothing) sites than the Boy Scouts have child molesters.

It's a great thing, but it's hard to keep track of them all.

And these days — as in one year after Stile Project won the Webby Award for Weirdest site, spurring a population boom not seen since horny WWII vets came back from Germany — it's necessary to separate the good from the bad.

This week I found a bunch of e/n site reviews, so you can get a taste of what's out there in a genre I sometimes feel PaulKatcher.com fits in. Most of the time I don't, however.

I tell people this site a portal of weirdness and hope they find their visits, above all else, fun and worthy of a return.

Once I felt e/n sites spotlighted the power of individuality. Now, ironically, that individuality has fallen into a stale abyss of poor writing, web cam girls, IM transcripts, blind links, Amazon wish lists, adult site banners, ubiquitous pornography and whoring out for links.

I wish I could link to more e/n sites that I enjoy, but the risk of them hosting a porn banner takes care of 90 percent of them.

Here are some e/n site reviews that may point you in the direction of fun — or perhaps the same, tired "I was stoned today and got an e-mail from..." crap:


RANDOM WEIRDNESS

* Who wouldn't laugh at classic quotes from The Jerk? Here's one that's not listed: "Bring us some FRESH wine — no more of this old stuff."

* I'm glad that the Neck Brace Appreciation Klub headquarters are nowhere near my semi-wrecked apartment.

* Read the story and see the video about how a San Francisco surfer got jacked by a power boat when trying to recover Barry Bonds' 500th home run in McCovey's cove outside Pac Bell Park. Greed reigns supreme.

* Suzette Healea is the world's longest-haired bodybuilder. She must be taking the wrong kind of steroids.

* Are you sick of running marathons, only to have your nipples stain blood all over your favorite white shirts? Thanks to NipGuards, you'll never have to bleed to death during a race again.

* Speaking of nipples, the Nipple Project is still alive and well. It's kinda like the Manhattan Project, except it deals with other types of bombs.

* Seeing that ESPN.com posts daily daily betting lines (useful legally to probably 1% of the site's users), I think I'll view the network's exposes on the casualties of illegal sports gambling with a little more of a cynical eye.

* If you happen to accidentally drink some Drano, you'll induce vomiting real quickly by checking out Richard Hatch's gay personal ad.

* Chickboxin' underground — It's only a matter of time before these ladies start hawking low-fat grilling machines

* Sick of being told your girlfriend is a butterface? How 'bout we call her a Cleveland Brown?


SUPPORT MY FRIEND AND MY BANK ACCOUNT

* While I type in an empty NYC apartment, my high school buddy David Brenner is directing a movie titled Rent Control, starring Melissa Joan Hart and Carmen Electra, among others.

Brenner is making his debut as a writer and director, and I'm an investor in this $1 million project. In the coming months, I'll be plugging the hell out of this movie. I hope you don't mind me posting a few movie promo pics of Carmen Electra.

While we're on the topic of Hollywood, I love how The Smoking Gun busted Ben Affleck for not voting in November 2000 after he shilled for Gore all over the country.


THE NEWSDESK

* Breasts enlarged to 40DD — without permission. Return Policy: Store credit within seven days and receipt. DOES NOT APPLY TO SILICONE PRODUCTS.

* Free breast implants for some female soldiers. In case of emergency, two floatation devices can be found under your chin.

* Family complains about dead passenger. Now boarding rows 1-15, plus passengers traveling with small children and carcasses.

* Girl killed by grandfather's crocodiles. Everybody play nice nice.


THE WEEKLY LADIES

* More free celebrity wallpapers than even you freaks can handle.

* I don't know who Ahmo Hight is, but I'm sure glad there is a tribute site to her. Oh wait, there's two of them.

* Internet model Kristilee was hoping you could take a look at her in skimpy swimsuits.

* Drunk chicks from Happy Drunk.

* Jillian's Word — the official site of Jillian Barberie, the token chick on the NFL on FOX pregame show. (Site's more disappointing than Terry Bradshaw's table manners.)

* Hey, who's on the market for a good wife-beater t-shirt? Certainly not feminists who decry the site.

Send to a friend | E-mail Paul | Sign Guestbook | View Guestbook

Like what you see?
1. Come back each week.
2. Receive our free newsletter. Just enter your e-mail addy.

3. Hit the archive.

 

Search terms used to land on this site
TERM COMMENT
"amputees having sex" talk about a S-L-O-W Saturday night
"galleries ass abuse" one more search like this and I'm shutting down the site
"flintbones pictures" like this is an archive of bad porn movies
"scooters at hooters" boys' toys; men's toys
"andruw jones nude" Your source for naked center fielders!
"funny sports videos" Wouldn't that be Clippers.com?
"wedgie volleyball" A new Olympic event
"snake through nose" Must've been researching a term paper
"free picture of nude midget" Sorry, we charge for pictures of nude midgets here
"salami sandwich" One of the most popular search terms on the Web
"saved by the bell belch" Must've been a killer episode
"midget dwarf humor" Why even add the term "humor?"
"nightclub oil wrestling" Someone please tell me where this place is
"nude chickenheads" Sorry, only clothed chickenheads here
"dustin diamond naked" Whoever searched for this is now banned from the site
"bra strap fan" Personally, I'm a Yankees fan
"what lions eat" Must've been a sixth-grade paper gone bad. Sorry kid
Send to a friend | E-mail Paul | Sign Guestbook | View Guestbook

Increase traffic with Links to You

FEEDBACK
E-mail Paul
Message Board
Sign Guestbook
View Guestbook
Send to a friend
Download AIMAIM Remote
Send me an Instant Message
Add me to Your Buddy List
Join my Chat Room
Send me an Email
Add Remote to Your Page
Download AOL Instant Messenger

INTERVIEWS
TracyLines.com
JumpTheShark.com
idreamofkerri.com
LisaMenuto.com
KelliGraham.com
YourDreamModel.com
WhosNYC.com
RoundCardGirlz.com
SomeIdiot.com
SportsByBrooks.com
MurphGuide.com
Honeygirlx.com
MirandaRox.com
CamGirlDirectory.com
GoShannon.com
NYCBP.com
GuyCritical.com
NetworkingGirl.com

ARCHIVE
Muppets
Infomercial Products
Halloween Costumes
Favorite Wrestlers
Jump the Shark
Weird Searches
Vanity Credit Cards
Random Update
Things to Never See Again
Best Movie Songs Ever
My Favorite TV Shows
My Favorite Yankees
Random Update
20th Century Moments
More Favorite Movies
Funny Audio
Underrated Things
Overrated Things
Bad Hair
Celebrity Lookalikes
Underrated TV stars
Where Are They Now?
MILFs
Worst TV Shows Ever
Most Hated Athletes
Real World Favorites
Greatestest Movies
Greatest Men
Nick at Nite
Men's Magazines
Bloopers
Wrestlemania X8
Sucky Update
Chick Mags
Spring Break 2002
SI Swimsuit Issue
Mardi Gras 2002
Sports Issue
Nothing Issue
Business Issue
Hedonism
Random Update
KISS
Random Update
The 1980s
Random Update
2001 World Series
Concert for NYC
Halloween
South Beach
Chris Rock
Random Update
America the Beautiful
Sam Harris
Random Update
Best of NYC
World's Worst Names
NYC Bar Show
Sports Nerds
Carmen's Hot Tub
Wacky TV Neighbors
Pick the Hottie Faux Celebs
Shocking Stuff
The Wugger
Heywoode Jablome
e/n Site Reviews
Amusement Parks
Celeb. Impersonators
Little Hercules
Mob Week
Sports Week
Pick the Hottie
Ouchy the Clown
Scotty Schwartz
Britney Spears
Beetlejuice
Bachelor Parties
Subway Jared
Club Med Review
Abuse Jeeves!
Nassau Bar
Traffic report
Television characters
'80s metal
Wrestling
Anti-sites
Celebrity bra sizes
Generators
Parodies
INDEX...
WEIRDNESS
Seize the Dave
Kenny Rogers Lookalikes
The Turd Twister
Make Mr. Hankey
Map of Springfield
Fat chicks in hats
Old and looking
Famous mugshots
Kill pop icons
Stop clown porn
Women underwater
Semen superstore

WHERE THE GIRLS ARE
NYC Bartenders
Who's on First
Shannon Nowak
Cowgirl Haley
Kerri
Miranda
Candy Lee
Michelle's Wonderland
Karen Cogz
Tracey Walker
Jokers Night Club
Critical Bench
Planet Appreciation
Extreme Bikini Team
Pick the Hottie
Mardi Gras Links
Maxim
FHM
Playboy

FUNNY FARM
Uncle Melon
Crank Yankers
Fark
The Onion
Notepad Online
Newgrounds
Romp
Camp Chaos
Dave Barry Columns
Who Would Buy That?
Rate the Panhandler
Bum Hunt
Who Would You Kill?
What Sucks in Sports

TRANSLATE THIS SITE
Spanish
French
Italian
Mr. T
Jesus
Porn