The hookup of the week goes to Lee, who submitted Pick the Hottie, which is the best of the Am I Hot of Not rip-offs out there. (Look, don't bust my balls if you've already heard of this site — I have to get fresh NYC air sometime.)

Anyway, Pick the Hottie pits two user-submitted photos against each other and people with nothing better to do, like me, select which one is more of a hottie. The best part about the site is it's functionality. It's got a Hall of Fame, a Hall of Shame, Top 10 Girls and Queens of the Day.

Here are some battles I judged, categorized by how difficult it was to pick a winner:
Easy | Easy | Easy
Hard | Hard | Hard

Finally, see the girls who recently lost to a one-legged poser. I can't believe a girl in a thong could lose to anyone.

* An ultra-scary K.C. Armstrong Fan Page from two gay guys in San Francisco, including a K.C. Information Database that should be illegal in at least four states.

* I don't know what the hell happened to Nicole Bass, but if you can stomach the picture of her in a thong, visit GetWellNicole.com and find out why she won't be kicking anyone's ass till March 23.

* I gotta tell you, I never make it a Blockbuster night without first consulting KKK Guy Daniel Carver's movie reviews. Only two burning crosses for Booty Call? Well, at least he's impartial.

* Thank god I hadn't eaten before descending upon Marcel's Makeover Madness, the diary of a man who took Howard's advice to see if he liked being a woman before he cut his penis off.

* Lyrical loveliness from Fruity Nutcake, the rapping granny, the crazy old bag with the rock-hard fanny. Hire this woman!

* T.S. Eliot had nothing on Hank the Angry Drunken Dwarf, whose poetry proves he's more than Jack Daniel's and stinky toe nails. Check out this rhythm: "Beetlejuice is a loser, a dick, and queer; I'll out-drink him any day, especially if it is with beer." My man is a regular Shakespeare.

* I used to think there were embarrassing pictures of me floating around. Then I saw Stuttering John's high school prom pic and felt much better.

FUN, WEIRD, DISTURBING — YOUR CALL

* Roy loves to search, destroy, and just plain hit stuff.

THE WEEKLY NEWS

* I am pleased to announce that PaulKatcher.com ranks No. 1 on Yahoo! for "Nell Carter nude" and No. 2 on AOL Search for "fuck AOL." (Thanks to Sean for the note.)

THE WEEKLY LADIES

* Man, I just can't decide which of these ladies has on the best outfit. Can you help?