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Paul does a shot during his birthday/Fat
Tuesday celebration at The Big Easy in NYC
The Brewers have NEVER won the World
Series. Any questions?
Damn, Tone Loc, gets this chick some
Funky Cold Medina
Plastic makes perfect
Traci Taylor claims her favorite sports
are "golf, softball, handguns, professional wrestling."
ME TOO! (Well, except for the guns, because those are reserved
for rednecks. How 'bout we substitute in Anchorman?)
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One of the great things about the
Internet is that you can fill your friends' e-mail boxes
with a lot of crap.
Perhaps the most productive task
you can accomplish at work is to create
and send a big audio fart from CreateAFart.com. Rippers?
Got 'em. Wet and nasty? Got 'em. It's a veritable Wal-Mart
of flatulence. And it costs the same as an entire Limp Bizkit
album on Napster. Zip.
Of course, if you're gonna send
me something, try an e-card
from sexy chick Dina. Sure beats the hell out of anything
I get from liquorhead Ed McMahon.
But if you've got that ex's e-mail
addy laying around, send her an
anonymous voodoo hex. Broads (my dad's term, not mine)
actually believe that shit, so go for it.
WEIRD SITES FROM NORMAL PEOPLE
The only
purpose of this site is to celebrate the freedom of the
Internet, to spotlight the ability to broadcast globally
ideals and interests that only recently have surfaced.
In 1994,
would you have believed me if I said that in 2001, you would
see...
*
A woman modeling
a bunch of slutty clothes on eBay?
*
A
lengthy ode to Samuel "Screech" Powers, the
greatest small-screen character since the flaming Brit on
"Benson"?
*
A ranking of the
best public toilets on the Upper East Side? (And all
of America?)
*
A site devoted
to Cash & Dash, the practice of an escort making
off with money before making out with her john?
*
The opportunity to use your work's bandwidth by watching
a
bunch of crazy videos and playing a
decent Shockwave bowling game?
NEWS YOU CAN LOSE
*
Student
dies in trash bin prank ("Dude, that was
a good one!")
*
Drunk
finds cigarettes and gasoline don't mix ("Mind
if I smoke ... up the place?")
*
Wild
turkey pecks on mail carrier ("Thanksgiving can't
come soon enough.")
*
NY
man dies after being sucked down drain ("Man, this
is a shit job.")
In other news, Brooke
Burke will appear in next month's issue of Playboy.
Damn, why are there 31 days in March?
SOME LINKS, JUST 'CAUSE I HAVE THEM
* Try
your luck at a spelling
test of the 50 most commonly misspelled words. This
intense
study of misspelled words is a bit much, though.
* If
you're a Webmaster, learn about some dirty
tricks employed to boost traffic. And definitely use
the Net Mechanic to test
link and spelling accuracy, as well as download time.
You can even test
your link popularity against sites like yours, or even
some of the biggies.
* Dave
Barry's History of the Millennium was the highlight
of my trip to South Beach in December 1999 (if you're not
counting the topless models hanging all over the place.)
* This
cartoon proves why bungee
jumping naked is not always a good idea.
* Top
ho's at BeAPimp.com.
HOT CHICKS TO KEEP THE TRAFFIC UP
* A
ton of spring
break lassies trying to win some drinking money, plus
Tone Loc getting loose.
* The
latest
gallery from the Thong Parade in Baltimore.
* Around
a billion models. That should keep you busy till next
week. Check out the hilarious
guestbook.
* Babes
with muscle. (Not, that kind of muscle.)
* Bikini
Spot: New galleries every day
THE TWO WORST THINGS YOU COULD EVER HEAR
1. "And now, our keynote speaker,
George W. Bush."
2. "Here are pictures of the two
guys I set your sister up with."
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