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Dummy, never lose a contact lens
at a football game
I always knew Anna hated that bitch
Hingis
Duh, just let
the man do everything until
he falls asleep
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NEWS YOU DIDN'T HEAR ON NIGHTLINE
Ever notice how people outside the
United States are pretty stupid? Cases in point:
Woman
who bit off testicle is jailed
(this would have been major news if she bit off HER OWN
testicle)
Rapist,
inspired by bible, cuts off penis
(I would have preferred a couple Our Fathers)
Car
thieves drink HIV-infected blood
(it's always tough to pass up a nip of warm, thick, red
juice)
HOW I FIND SOME OF THIS STUFF
A rather unconventional search pattern
usually does the trick:
where
+ the + oatmeal + flows + like + wine
stryper
+ empty + arena
bill
+ gates + sex + with + janet + reno
bungee
+ jump + naked
madden
+ fat + piece + of + lard
regis
+ jello + contest
liberace
+ kermit + drugs
SHE'S A REAL DOLL
I'm sure I am a little late on this
Real
Doll thing. I never thought it would become such a monopoly.
Look how
many body parts you can choose to create your perfect
woman. What is this, the McDonald's of inanimate receptacles?
Here's a well-written
review of the Real Doll from Ho in the Know. (And if
anyone would know, it's a ho.)
The Real Doll site reads, "with
all the features and qualities of Real Doll, you would expect
to pay $20,000 or more."
Isn't that like the price of 100
hookers? Having sex with plastic can't be nearly as good.
Plus, wouldn't your guests wonder who the dead chick is
with the huge mouth?
If humans ain't your thing (don't
lie, people), there's always the Real
Hamster and the Real
Sheep.
THE PRICE OF (ONE-HOUR) LOVE
Some dude on Playboy.com answered
questions about traveling the world — well, at least
under the bridges where
he could pick up hookers.
I love this line: "I can't
remember how many times I've done incall, and I've only
been mugged once."
Talk about beating the odds. My
man should go play Take 5 right now.
SOME WOMEN, JUST TO KEEP YOU COMING BACK
I
need a maid like this to clean my apartment
Fans
of hogger.com show their appreciation
Hooters
Derby Bikini Contest
Miss
Internet World Eden Carpenter
Would
you pay this woman $200/hour to dance naked?
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